mischief, mayhem & pornography: December 2005

Finally, a keyboard for pirates!

Friday, December 30, 2005 > Trackback URL

Finally, pirates have their own keyboard. No wonder they can type 1,100 words per minute, there are six keys!

[spanks to brian k. for this delightful image]

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How would you rate your Philly Cheesesteak?

Thursday, December 29, 2005 > Trackback URL

So, The Duke and I were calling Parkside Wings & Steak tonight to get some grub and The Duke decided to deviate from his standard 10 Wings + Fries & Drink combo and venture into the land of Philly Cheesesteaks. Here's how the phone conversation went..

Justin : I'm gonna order from Parkside.
Dave : Cool, I'll have the #1.
Justin : How spicy you want the wings?
Dave : Nuclear.
Justin : Cool. I think I'm gonna ask for a reccomendation.
(Duke calls Parkside)
Parkside : Parkside steak & wings, can I help you?
Justin : How are your Philly Cheesesteaks?
Parkside : It depends what you are doing with them?
Justin : What do you mean? Do they taste better if you do certain things with them? Like, if I was hang gliding and wanted an in flight snack, would they taste better?
Parkside : I guess.
Justin : But what if I just ate one at my kitchen table? How would they be then?
Parkside : I guess allright.
Justin : But not as good as hang-gliding?
Parkside : Everything tastes better mid flight I guess.
Justin : Cool, I'll take one.
Parkside : 15-20 minutes, thanks.

WTF?!?!?

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MySpace.com is for poor people...

Tuesday, December 27, 2005 > Trackback URL

Ok...
MySpace.com blows the largest nuts on the planet earth. We're talking the African, National Geographic, elephantitus nuts.

More to come tomorrow. I have a whole rant on how bad MySpace sucks.

Ryan Amirault : MySpace is for poor people...at least facebook is limited only to people who have gone to college. Yeah your mom goes to college!

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Cuz the Mr. Pibb & Red Vines = Crazy Delicious

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The other night I posed a teaser about "Spendin' mad hamiltons" and here's the video I was talking about. Quite possibly one of the funniest things SNL has sone in over 10 years. It is a rap videp called "Lazy Sunday" just check it out, you'll enjoy it...

View "Lazy Sunday"

Ohh yeah, iTunes users, you can search iTunes for "Lazy Sunday" and download it for free.

Anonymous : Everyone needs to see this. Therefore I sent it to you.

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To Rob, from Boston, with love.

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Rob got what he always wanted for Christmas, his Audi A-4 booted as a result of not paying parking tickets! Super sweet. Personally, I think he should just start driving around with it. After a few revolutions his fender would eventually give way and it would be relatively smooth sailing after that...

Warning!
Do not move this vehicle!

It has been seized by the City of Boston for unpaid parking tickets. Removing or tampering with vehicle or boot may result in prosecution and imprisonment for up to ten years.

Vehicle Operator : Remove this sticker, release information is provideed on the reverse side.

That notification is all well and good, however, I think they would have a better response rate if they wrote it a little more creatively. If I was the City of Boston, here is how I would rewrite that note rob got on this window...

Warning!
Your shit isn't going anywhere!

Your car has been slapped with a big-ol hunk of metal that is probably scratching your rims. If your dumb ass is stupid enough to try and drive with this thing on you will completely fuck up your ride.

If you're wondering why you have this thing on your car, you may want to consult the dozens of unpaid parking tickets located in your glove box. Please call the phone number on the back of this warning to see how many hundreds of dollars in fines and penalties you owe the City of Boston.

Now that is more like it...

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Spendin Mad Hamiltons

Saturday, December 24, 2005 > Trackback URL

It's all about the Hamiltons.

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According to Chris...

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According to Chris, MMP needs more sports rants. I think that is a fantastic idea, and with the recent grumblings in Red Sox Nation and my argumentative stance towards sports I think we could have a real winner on our hands.

What do you guys think? Obviously Chris is trying to look as menacing as possible so you jerkstores post some stuff encouraging messages with regards to the sports postings. Please note the illegal usage of his lead filled billy-club. He means business guys...

Chris Angelli: Hey, I bought that thing 3 months before they were deemed "illegal". So you can step off.

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Told mom today...

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Ok, secret is out.
I may be moving to Colorado. I'm not going to tell you what my chances are because I don't want to jinx myself, but I may be leaving the east coast sometime in January. Seeing how my potential future employer checks MMP I don't want to divulge any secret details. So, stay tuned. The farewell tour could be in effect very shortly. Then again, it could all fall through and I could end up stuck here... You never know ;-)

Yep, it is a big change. I'm 100% ready to make a major location and life change.

Ryan Amirault : Woohoo...Digital Dave might be moving out to the bubble world known as Boulder, Colorado. Ahhh good 'ol Chief Niwot is going to take ahold of wee little Dave and never let him leave Boulder ever! (Dave, you'll find out about chief niwot real quick if you move out)

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Are you f-ing kidding me?

Friday, December 23, 2005 > Trackback URL

What the hell is the world coming to? Seriously, old people, please take note. Get a god damn gym membership. The mall is for SHOPPING not for your walking and exercising. If you want to work out, get a god damn gym membership / nordic track / treadmill or buns of steel video. Don't take your ass to the mall and start walking around with your stupid ass 2 pound weights and track suit.

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Told you he would look gay...

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Wow...
That haircut just screams f-me Jeter. JohnNY looks like a total flamer here. Please note the pink kimono / bathrobe / drapery he's wearing and the wine glasses on the table behind him. Not to mention the limp wrist. What a total fag.

Anonymous : he and Jeter will be great friends in no time... johnNY, that's good.

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Mikey T. on Business Meetings

Thursday, December 22, 2005 > Trackback URL

Michael and I were discussing business meetings and interviews this afternoon and this was what came out of the conversation. Let me be completely honest for a second and let you know that I agree with 100% of what this man has to say. Imagine the original impression you would have on your future / current employer if you made each business meeting this special.

Mike Thomas: you should walk in with a valour fubu outfit and gold chains
Mike Thomas: then with one finger remove the entire outfit revealing that you are actually wearing a suit and tie and say just kidding, how are you im dave
Mike Thomas: people like ice breakers
Mike Thomas: ask them how they feel aobut monday and friday absenteeism
Mike Thomas: show up with a bunch of swizzle sticks comin out of your pocket and a beer helmet
Mike Thomas: tell em you consider partying to be sort of a career of its own

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Catholic Church Denounces Johnny Damon

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As you are well aware, Damon is now a Yankee.
Yes, we all know this blows. Surprisingly, the Catholic Church has severed all ties with Johnny and his likeness to the Jeez. They have begun a blitzkrieg marketing campaign using their church signs to get the message out that he is no longer affiliated with the Catholic Church!

Anonymous : can't be Jesus with that close, proper Yankee hair

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I say goodbye to the wagon.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005 > Trackback URL

Yesterday, I got back my 2003 Ford Focus that is lovingly known as 2Fast2Digital. Since I got it back, I had to turn in my 2005 Subaru Outback Wagon which I had nicknamed "Blueby the Subey" and "The Subajew". I can honestly say that I will miss this car, especially knowing the fact that I won't be driving one anytime soon since it had an MSRP of $27,000.00 and I can't afford a car that expensive. The thing was decked out, heated seats, 6 disc changer, woodgrain, premium sound, etc, etc etc. I took it through a foot of snow a week ago and it was fine. The thing was a TANK. It was the ultimate ski vehicle. Say what you want, yes, I know it is a wagon and has the whole soccer mom vibe going. I don't care, it was a beast in snow.

Good thing I had unlimited mileage on it, because I got it with 850 miles on it and returned it with 5200. Ha ha ha.

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Crowd reactions to Johnny Damon.

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Ryan Smith

Dear Johnny,
Go fuck yourself, you bag of douche.

Regards,
Red Sox Nation

Mike Thomas: I told you Damon was a serious faggot.

Nick Bernier: Let 'em have Damon, when he attempts to throw someone out at home and he can barely reach the pitcher's mound, they'll wonder where their 52 million went.

Matthew Murray: say it isn't so Johnny say it isn't so... Damon your no longer my Homeboy

Thompson Lewis: f-damon. I suppose if the Republican Party can Co-Opt God, then it's not that surprising the Evil Empire can take Jesus.

Ryan Clemens: I can't believe the Sox missed out on a chance to sign Damon for only 4 years when he was looking for 7 years at the start. However, if the Yanks were willing to give up $13M a year for him, when it seemed the next best offer was only $10M a year, so be it. He's definitely going to be missed for his defense, leadoff abilities, and popularity within Red Sox Nation.
I am just SHOCKED that he could just become a Yankee and already start saying "we" after being a member of the Red Sox for 4 years and knowing how much of a rivalry there is between the two teams. But seriously, WHO cares, the yanks still have to deal with the Curse of A-ROD!!!

Jessica Kazowski: My wishes for Christmas: World peace and a mysterious scalp disease for Johnny Damon.

Alyssa Sette:

Dear Johnny...
why did you sell your soul to the devil? you suck at life. you are a modern day Benedict Arnold. you should be ashamed of yourself.

fuck off,
Alyssa

Johnny demonstrates what position he will be in when Jeter and A-Rod are behind him. That's funny, I thought Johnny was a center fielder, not a catcher.

To get in on this rant, post your comments. As always, the best ones will find their way into the main body of the post.

Traci : Q: What would Johnny Damon do?

A: Slap the cheek of Red Sox Nation with his girly arm.

Your membership is revoked, Johnny. Time to take down that massive poster in Kenmore Square and burn it.

Anonymous : Nothing like the inane comments of jilted lovers.

To bad the King of the Idiots gave up his throne to save himself from the sinking ship.

Anonymous : never liked him anyways

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The power of MMP.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005 > Trackback URL

As some of you are aware, MMP does a fantastic job with google's pagerank service. Chances are, if your name has ever been mentioned here, you're going to show up very high when you google yourself.

Earlier this week, someone from the University of Rhode Island googled "Chris Angelli" and produced this page result. Oddly enough, it was one of Chris' students that was looking him up online. Why they were looking for him, I'll never know. Maybe they were doing a little checking up on their teaching assistant and want to know more about him, or, maybe their intentions are simply homicidal... We'll never know. But what I do know, is that they left a comment on the post and were amazed to see their beloved TA slamming down a 40oz while rocking a Roscoe's Chicken n' Waffle's shirt.

Classic.

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Not your average cake.

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Chris and Traci recently threw a party to celebrate the end of their semester. But what party is complete without some sort of cake and ice cream? Well, here's the cake. Clearly they appreciate the fact that their final exams were voluntary.

I would have simply put a stickie note on a 30 pack, but that's just me. I guess I'm not the pastry type.

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I have no freakin time for anything...

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You know what I hate... Yep, the holiday rush.
I have no time to just relax this week. As most of you know, I've already had a pretty rough month, and now I get to deal with all this crap! Here is a brief list of some stuff I need to get done before Friday.

All my Christmas shopping... Yes, all of it. Looks like everyone on my list will either be getting gift cards or items from the dollar store.
5 Loads of laundry. Since I've been away the past 2 weekends and working a little late, I haven't had time to clean any clothes. By my calculations, I have exactly 2 more days worth of clothing before I need to start turning underwear inside out.
Go shopping with my boss because he doesn't know what to buy his kids and is electronically challenged. Of course, this takes place after work hours and is 100% on my time.
Clean my kitchen. My kitchen currently looks like Dexter's Laboratory due to the skyrocketing amount of dirty plates that are stacking up in my sink. I'm pretty sure that all the caked on food has formed some sort of new lifeform and is currently planning on overthrowing me the next time I enter the kitchen.
Get my ski boots fixed: I somehow managed to blow a buckle while putting on a bump clinic on Ripcord this weekend at Mount Snow. This needs to be done ASAP since I'll be leaving for Colorado next week.
Banking. I've got checks that need to be deposited and I need quarters to do the freakin' laundry. Not to mention, if I don't deposit these checks I'll be telling people that are expecting gifts that this Christmas is "All about the spirit of Christmas, and that is why they didn't get anything." Believe me, that previous statement is not a crowd pleaser.
Fix the damn firewalls: The firewalls in the office must know that I'm stressing out because they just keep on resetting and screwing with my site to site IPSEC VPN. That is nerd talk, sorry.
Deal with insurance company bullshit: Yeah, so I get hit by a car, 100% of the blame is on the other driver and I end up paying for 5 1/2 weeks of my rental car because his insurance company is retarded. Ohhhhh helllllllllssss no. So I get to iron out this nightmare of BS.
Food shopping: all I have left in this house is a pie crust, half a bottle of diet coke, mustard and some condensed milk. Even MacGuyver couldn't make a meal with those ingredients.

And to top it all off... Am I going to move or stay put?! I'm 100% ready to make a change.

Ryan Amirault : Eh...you will be in Colorado before you know it and of course the yankee swap at the Amirault Family Xmas Party is on Saturday....

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Febtober!

Monday, December 19, 2005 > Trackback URL

As some of you are aware, the Celebrity Jeopardy skits are some of the funniest skits that have ever been performed on SNL. Unless you're unemployed and watch reruns on Comedy Central all day, chances are you're not going to see many of them in the few brief hours you watch television per week. My friends, let me introduce you to a little invention called "the internet", it isn't just for pornography, spam e-mail and blogs anymore. Many websites have sprung up and host some of the best video content available ... In this case, all of the Celebrity Jeopardy skits.

So point your web browsers over to YouTube.com and peep all the hilarious imatations of Sean Connery, French Stweart, Burt Reynolds (Terd Ferguson), and Michael Keaton.

Just click the link.

[Thanks to Traci for the sick ass link via IM.]

Anonymous : there goes any thoughts of productivity. easily the best SNL skits, this "internet" thing is my hero!

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We're back...

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Ok, we're back after a very, very, very long and depressing weekend.
You try to think you're prepared to deal with the loss of a close friend and then you get to the point where you have to go to the wake/funeral and you pretty much fall apart. Yeah, fun times.

Well, enough depressing shit, time to get to some of the funny stuff from this trip. Yes, that is a 30 pack of hamburgers from White Castle. John, Matt and I managed to slam down 30 of these babies in one sitting. Yes, it was fantastic and we all had to take a notch out of our belts at the end of this shmorgesborg. The only bad thing from this magnificent culinary delight was the fact the burgers are so good they don't want to spend much time in your digestive track and immediately call for a prompt and violent exit via your anus.

In other words... White Castle makes you deuce like a champ.

[I've heard of a 30 rack of beers, but a 30 rack of burgers? America, fuck yeah!]

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The cutest puppy ever...

Thursday, December 15, 2005 > Trackback URL

I think Cody Herberger-Parent now has a run for his money...
Introducing Roxy. Joe's new puppy. Please refrain from coo-ing and awww-ing when you see these picutres. You may develop diabetes from these pics, they are just that sweet.
Additional Images...

Picture One
Picture Two

Anonymous : i'm in love

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Gonna be gone for a few, so here's some Mr.T facts.

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Hey everyone...
I'm going to be gone for a couple days and won't have internet access. I'll be down in NYC for JSL's funeral and wake. Since Herberger doesn't have a broadband internet connection at his parents house I am S.O.L.

So, I leave you with some Mr. T facts...

The last man who made eye contact with Mr. T was Ray Charles.
Children are afraid of the dark. Dark is afraid of Mr. T.
Every time a church bell rings, Mr. T pities a fool.
Mr T. and Chuck Norris decided to spar, they travelled to the only safe place in the Universe, the beginning of time. They bowed to each other and Chuck launched in with a roundhouse kick. Mr. T blocked it, and the resulting pressure wave is commonly called the Big Bang.
Mr. T doesn't pity anyone who likes the Black Eyed Peas. He just kills them.
Mr. T speaks only when necessary. His main form of communication is folding his arms and slowly shaking his head. And regardless of the situation, he is always understood.
Mr. T doesn't breathe, air just hides in his lungs for protection.
When Mr. T folds his arms, the U.S. Terror Alert Level is raised to gold.
Mr.T once punched Chuck Norris at the exact moment he roundhouse kicked Mr.T in the chest. the result was the 80's.
Human females have two X chromosomes. Males have an X and a Y. Mr. T has three Ys and a T. He's more man than you'll ever be.
Mr. T hates playing 'Rock Paper Scissors' because he doesn't believe anything could beat rock. He always chooses rock, and when someone throws paper, he says,"I win." If someone is foolish enough to dispute this, he takes his clenched fist and punches them in the face, then says, "I thought your paper would protect you."
Mr. T once captured Bigfoot, but released him after he shaved the beast and realized that it was just Chuck Norris walking around naked in the woods.
Ever have a sharp pain in your chest that you can't explain? That was Mr. T, and it was a warning.
Mr. T invented fools. Realizing the magnitude of his folly, he then created Pity.
Mr. T wasn't born, he shed a woman.
Mr. T was once involved in a head-on car crash, and he was the only survivor. Mr. T was walking at the time.
Mr. T coined the phrase, "I see dead people," after the waiting staff at Denny's forgot his birthday.
Mr. T always drives on the right side of the road, no matter where he is in the world.
23. That's the number of people Mr. T has pitied in the time it has taken you to read this sentence.
Mr. T once stared at a woman for three seconds. She instantly became pregnant.
Mr. T recently went on fear factor. Not as a guest, but as an obstacle. Apparently the contestents had to stare at Mr. T's bling for at least 1 second. The show was cancelled to to lack of participation.
On the A-team, Face , Haniabal, and Murdoch were all masters of disguise. Mr T didn't have to wear a disguise. The bad guys didn't recognize him out of fear.
Mr. T is not black. It's just that the sun is to afraid to shine on him.
Contrary to popular belief, the ancient world knew of 5 elements, not 4. They were earth, air, fire, water and pity. Mr. T invented them all.
In Rocky III, there is a scene where Mr. T invites Adrian, played by Talia Shire, to come over to his apartment "to see what a real man is like". This scene had to be shot an astounding 137 times due to the fact that Shire kept repeatedly tearing her clothes off, jumping on Mr. T, and begging for "the chocolate sauce".
Mr. T is allergic to doorknobs. That's why he can only kick through doors.
Mr. T. does not break wind. He destroys it.
Gravity dosen't exist. Mr. T just pities everything to stay the fuck down. Birds and planes are exempt beacuse they are shaped like Ts.
There are only four horsemen of the apocalypse, because Mr. T is going to walk.

[Here is a wonderful picture of Mr. T on the Today show, no doubt threatening Matt Lauer's life. Please note that Mr. T brought a golden throne to sit on, since he in fact, is a king amongst mortals like Matt Lauer.]

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JSL Picture Gallery.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005 > Trackback URL

I've wrangled together some of my pictures of JSL from senior year and thrown them into a gallery. If you have any photos you would like to share, please email them to me at dave@ozskier.com so I can add them in.

JSL Photo Gallery

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Jonathan's Funeral & Wake Information

Tuesday, December 13, 2005 > Trackback URL

As some of you are well aware, Jonathan (JSL) passed away late Saturday night. I don't think I have the mental capacity to leave something heartfelt and genuine right now because I'm still pretty upset.

I've set up a separate website for sharing information, carpooling, hotels, etc. You can get directions to the funeral and wake there.

http://www.ozskier.com/jsl

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Fantastic email signature.

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As we all know, the longer your e-mail signature = the more important you are! Smitty seems to be one of the most important individuals on the planet, because this one is a doozer.

Ryan Smith
Sovereign Bank
Credit Operations
One Sovereign Way
East Providence, RI 02915
Direct Line: (401) 432-0896
Facsimile: (401) 432-2900
RSmith6@sovereignbank.com
"You stay Classy."

This message is intended only for the designated recipient(s). It may contain confidential, proprietary or top secret information. If you are not a designated recipient or reciever, you may not review, look, read, copy, rebroadcast, reproduce or redistribute this message with written consent from the NHLPA, NFL, MLB, or NBA. If you receive this in some type of error, please notify the sender by reply e-mail and delete/destroy this message by any means necassary. This may include lighting this message on fire, shredding it via paper shedder and/or wood chipper, ripping and/or tearing in half, thirds, quaters or fifths, throwing away in any type of trash receptacle, or eating this message in its entirety.

If this message contains any type of stitches or visible repair work, it is recommended by upper management to remove them, thus leading this message to die a slow and painfull death. Thank you.

Anonymous : I used to work in that building....

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Anything that licks its own ass cannot have a people name.

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Caitlin Amirault: did jen and herbie finally give in and change the dog's friggin name?
Caitlin Amirault: kramer just isn't working for a dog that cute.
Dave Amirault: nope, still has an unoriginal name from a tv show
Caitlin Amirault: if i ever meet him. hes cody
Dave Amirault: exactly.
Dave Amirault: if the dog had messy fur and was a freak, then yes... Kramer
Caitlin Amirault: agreed
Caitlin Amirault: but it's adorable
Dave Amirault: and thus needs an adorable name that he can grow into
Dave Amirault: and since cody is not a "people" name, it works splendidly for a dog.
Dave Amirault: i hate it when people name their dog snooty people names... like "Christopher Pennywild III"
Caitlin Amirault: oof yeah
Dave Amirault: anything that licks its own ass cannot have a people name

Anonymous : i hope someone named cody reads this. a person named cody.

Anonymous : what about maggie....magnolia may....the bestest dog in the world.

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Breaking News : Getting drunk is good for kids!

Monday, December 12, 2005 > Trackback URL

So I got an instant message tonight from Jeff Jeff Slinn...

Jeff Slinn: me and Jenny are guest bartending tomrow night at Mckinleys for toy for tots...come have a drink from 8 - 11 put it in the blog so we can let a shit bunch of people know that by being a drunkard tomrrow night you can do a good thing so getting drunk is good for kids

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19 Voicemails in 1.5 days.

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This is what happens when I don't check my voicemail for about a day and a half. To everyone that calls me, please don't leave a message when you could either text or e-mail it. I really don't feel like checking messages anymore. I literally waste 20-30 minutes a day listening to things like....

Yo, Digital... It's (insert name here), call me back.
Digital, sup. Call me back.
Digital, Daisy had puppies, call me back.
My computer broke, Digital, you've got to help me.

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Funny Bush Joke...

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Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing on Iraq. He concludes by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed."

"OH NO!" the president exclaims. "That's terrible!"

His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the president sits, head in hands.

Finally, president looks up and asks, "How many is a brazillion?"

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Because everyone likes puppies.

Friday, December 09, 2005 > Trackback URL

Here he is, Cody Herberger-Parent. If you don't think this dog is adorable, you're evil and deserve to die. Sure, he bites, cries, eats like a horse and poops in odd places... But how can you get mad at a face like that?

6 More pictures of Cody Herberger-Parent

Cody's parents are John and Jen, this should worry MMP regulars. Everyone knows that John can't even take care of a houseplant and Jen is too busy working and going to school. Something tells me that Cody is going to be one of those rough and tough street dogs. You know, just a steel town dog on a Saturday nigh looking for the fight of its life.

Anonymous : puppy!

Anonymous : puppy!

Anonymous : omg cutest puppy Ever! and he's wearing a little sweater... aww

Anonymous : umm this dog is too adorable for the ugly name "kramer".

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Worst Video Game Cover Ever

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Jesus fucking christ, are you god damn kidding me. Those god damn Asians have the wackiest video games ever. I can't even imagine what the hell this video game is... Wait, what the shit am I talking about, of course I can think of some names for this game...

Loook Up At Explosions
Reach Around Superstar
Crying Elvis Track Star
Bukkake Race 2k5
Man Tears : The Game

Let's hear what you guys have. Best commments will make their way into the post.
Ohh yeah, if you're Asian, don't get offended. It isn't my fault that some jackass overseas made this jewel of a cover for a playstation game.

Anonymous : Raining little boys: Judgement day

Anonymous : Godzilla 2: Happy to be Back.

Anonymous : Richard Simmons, Track Star turned gay. Starring Jackie Chan

Unknown : Kiss of the dragon on crack

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Cousin Ryan is coming over.

Thursday, December 08, 2005 > Trackback URL

Ryan Amirault: do you have a coffee maker?
Dave Amirault: no
Dave Amirault: i dont drink coffee
Dave Amirault: i drink gin

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Rob's update on Chinzilla.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005 > Trackback URL

Here's a Rob Brawders update to the story.

Using the same technology they use with kidnapped children, I electronically “Aged” the chin to show what it would look like today if it continued growing at that shocking rate… -Rob

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If Jay Leno had a baby girl...

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Ok, we all know that Rob does absolutly nothing at work and plays on MySpace all damn day. Today he sumbles across this gem of a photograph and sends me an e-mail with the subject line of "Holy shit look at this chicks chin". Needless to say, I've never gone to my inbox so fast in my entire life. Awaiting me was this fantastic .jpg image of a girl that has a larger chin than Jay Leno. Look at this thing, it's enormous. I'm willing to bet that when she was born the doctor slapped her clear across the face because she thought the crack in her chin was her ass.

Nice eyebrows too.

Anonymous : WOW... the chick on the left looks like somebody Photoshopped long hair onto my friend Josh....

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The New Arena

Monday, December 05, 2005 > Trackback URL

Here it is kids, the new beruit table at Surry Street and let me tell you, she is a beauty. Covered from end to end in the finest cover shots from FHM, Stuff and Maxim magazine. Now, when you miss a cup you have an excuse for your distraction.

Taking a page from the Molson dual label playbook, White Chocolate and Walsh made it a reversible table. When you get tired of the magazine covers you simply flip it over for a gigantic Japanese anime picture of a girl on her hands and knees.

So classy.

Anonymous : Now thats a table!

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A funny cartoon...

Friday, December 02, 2005 > Trackback URL

Ohh now I get it...
The toilet paper roll doesn't like the fact that he gets rubbed up against dirty assholes all day! How clever.

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Most homo hamburgers ever.

Thursday, December 01, 2005 > Trackback URL

Ohh yeah folks, this is one that you certainly will want to enlarge on your monitor.

Rusty and Charlie enjoying some scrumptious 6:45 AM drunken hamburgers. I know what you're thinking, why did we get up so dang early... Wrong, we stayed up that late. Wait a minute, would that be considered staying up late or staying up early?

Please note the criss crossing of the hands which results in one of the queerest ways to enjoy the most manly meal item ever.

Anonymous : Some Jamaican rum would be perfect with those burgers, what do you say?

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