mischief, mayhem & pornography: January 2006

Amanda checks in from X-Games.

Tuesday, January 31, 2006 > Trackback URL

File this one under R for RACIST. Amanda is checking in from Winter X Games 2006 in Aspen, Co. She sends me this doozer of a picture with the caption...

A Mexican kid wearing a gigantic Taco Bell hat that is shaped like a Taco. Classic.

Ya know what, since I'm filing things. I guess I should also stash this one under H for HILARIOUS.

Anonymous : http://img477.imageshack.us/img477/5549/racist5hl5db.gif

<3 Blake

Anonymous : Things Anthony (me) said (or thought) under my breath...

1) Thats pretty mexilent
2) Kid doesnt realize thats part of his uniform for the job he will hold for the rest of his life
3) Ive never seen a black kid wearing a foam KFC hat..or a welfare check hat either
4) Probably the nicest hat the kid owns...

im going to hell

Anonymous : i have one too--got it at the taco bell stall at the all star baseball game

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T-Minus how many days?

Monday, January 30, 2006 > Trackback URL

Ok, when the hell am I getting in the car and heading to Boulder? I wanted to be outta here by Wednesday, however the daunting amount of tasks awaiting to be completed at work are prohibiting an early egress from the East Coast. Realistically, I'll probably be there at some point this weekend. I'd like to get out there by Friday afternoon and head to Copper Mountain with Cousin Ry, but that seems like a long-shot at best. There is just too much shit to get done between now and then. I still need to box and ship some stuff out there, organize my apartment, transfer the utilities to The Duke's name and clean up the cluster bomb that went off in my room.

Here are some things I have realized over the past weeks...

I own entirely too much clothing. I worked at the Gap for over two years and it shows. I have an unhealthy addiction to buying crap on sale from that store.
My liver can still take an absolute pounding. This is evident from the actions that transpired on Friday and Saturday night.
My friends kick ass and I am going to miss them very badly. You know who you are, thanks for making the past two weeks special.
My car is going to drag ass all the way to CO since I will be filling it to the gills.
Tax refunds kick ass. I want a new HDTV for when I get to Boulder. Probably not the wisest investment, which means I probably won't be getting one. C'mon, I'm somewhat responsible with money!

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Sunday River message board keeps skiers connected

Sunday, January 29, 2006 > Trackback URL

Here is the article that Heather Burke wrote on the Sunday River Message Board & me. I'm willing to bet that most of you don't get the Maine Sunday Telegram so you can go right on and peep their website.

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Anonymous : From the moment the first Mercedes-Benz CLS four-door "coupe" was introduced to the public, other German luxury automakers hit the drafting board. According to the German auto experts at AutoBild, Audi is just over a year away from unleashing its own cleverly packaged sedan.
carwadontester981

Anonymous : Very amusing piece ciallis canada com Florida I have a good fresh joke for you! Why do turkeys eat so little? Because they are always stuffed!

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Wowzer.

Saturday, January 28, 2006 > Trackback URL

Not gonna lie, things got out of control last night. Rusty had his shoes on, he got lit up.

He got his revenge on me this morning. By waking me up with a pan of cold water. Nice touch dude, well played.

Anonymous : wow, that picture started my day off in a hilarious way

Anonymous : wow, that picture started my day off in a hilarious way

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ET Phone Home...

Friday, January 27, 2006 > Trackback URL

MMP now has a dangerous new feature... Audio posting from any telephone in the world. This opens up a totally new realm of possibilities. I can now drunk dial MMP. Oh god, what have I done. This is going to be the most dangerous feature ever. You know what else is dangerous? I can forward voicemails I get to MMP.

I highly encourage all of you to drunk dial me this wknd. I'm sure as hell not going to pick up, so leave something interesting. Chances are, it will end up here.

Look forward to some high class audio updating from here on out.

this is an audio post - click to play

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The farewell party pictures...

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No time for a witty entry, real busy. Here are the pics. Tons of them in the new gallery. I'll be witty later on when I have a few free minutes of time.

Click the link.

Anonymous : Where's the ones from your camera

Dave Amirault : Those are from my camera.
-Dave

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Matt Lauer's Wrist

Thursday, January 26, 2006 > Trackback URL

Ok, so today I was going through my analytics account while waiting for a crappy Win98 computer to finish a scandisk and I was reviewing my top 5 keyword searches for last week. Looks like someone out there is doing a little bit of research on my relationship with the new employer, Chuck Norris is getting quite a bit of google pings, Febtober is a wonderful month coming up and people are probably just doing a little research, Alyssa is obviously bored at work and googling herself non stop but what the hell is "Matt Lauer's wrist"?

I have a couple dozen referrals from google for that term! Seriously, who is searching for this? How much information can there be on the internet about Matt Lauer's wrist? The only reason it is pulling up MMP in the search results is because I said that Mr. T. would shatter Matt Lauer and somewhere on the page the word wrist is there. Since this person has been searching for this specific topic for quite some and has consistantly come back to mmp I have decided to create an entry simply to screw with them. So now, when this jackass google's "matt lauer's wrist" this topic will come up #1.

Anonymous : I am not googling myself! i told my friends to if they're bored, hahaha.

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Walsh gets Own3d.

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Never, ever, ever pass out with your shoes on at a party with my circle of friends. Chanes are there is a sharpie in close proximity and your ass is going to get own3d. Walsh learned this one first hand during my going away party and since I was completely hammered and armed with my camera I figured I would shoot 39 pictures of the event.

Nice usage to Rusty and Nilton for the proper placement of the Astrovan cd! Now that is some marketing.

Check out the gallery of Walsh getting dominated by a sharpie & some beer cans.

Anonymous : Where the other pahty pics at boy?

Dave Amirault : Coming soon, very soon. Just need a few minutes tonight to sort through the keepers and the ones that wont make MMP.

-dave

Anonymous : did walsh have to go to work on Monday? what was his reaction? tune in those viewers who were not actually at your going away party... although maybe they should have been

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Some Colorado Pictures...

Wednesday, January 25, 2006 > Trackback URL

Ok, I'm the jerk that forgot to show you all what Colorado was like. Here's a preview of the new gallery technology that I'm working on for presenting large groups of photos. It is all flash driven so you know it is all sorts of Mr. Fancy Pants. I'm almost done writing some of the behind the scenes code that will let you browse hundreds of shots at a time and be able to look up by date, event, etc. Stay tuned, I'll have my going away shots up in a gallery later tonight.

Check out the Copper Mountain gallery.

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The first wave of going away party pics...

Tuesday, January 24, 2006 > Trackback URL

Everyone, that is Big Andy. Can anyone guess why his nickname is "Big Andy". So, here's the comical picture of the short kid next to the tall kid. Well, I wouldn't exactly classify Andy as "tall". He makes tall look short. I think the bastard tops out over 7 feet tall or something insane like that. Yes, he can dunk. Yes, he can look down just about any girls shirt without even trying and yes he could squash me like a bug.

Head on over to Bernier's blog to see all the pics and his own first hand explanation of the mayhem that ensued.

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Monday's Jack Bauer Power Hour Recap

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Here's what we learned last night from the Power Hour...

Every time I see President Logan I get the urge to throw him through a wood chipper.
Audrey = still fine.
Tony Almeda should have sprung to action from his death bed to assist Jack in killing the dude that broke into CTU. So what he was involved in a viscous car bombing, this is Tony freakin Almeda we're talkin' about. He's like Jack Bauer Jr.
Curtis needs to do more shooting. Yeah, he looks like a bad-ass, but I really wanna see him bust a cap in someone's ass.
Chloe really isn't that attractive. I thought they were gonna sex her all up for this season, but that's sorta like putting 22 inch rims on a 1993 Accord. It just doesn't work. They should just give up and have her hook up with Edgar. Actually, come to think of it, no... That would be awful.
Never come at Jack Bauer with medical scissors. He'll stab you in the neck with them, and if that isn't bad enough, instead of letting you die slowly and somewhat peacefully he'll punch them almost through your neck to emphasize the killing.

Check out the 30 random Jack Bauer Facts. Here's a top five of what those are like...

If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.
Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man.
Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer fucking hates lemonade.
Jack Bauer can get McDonald's breakfast after 10:30.

And now for some somewhat original MMP Jack Bauer related humor. Hey, every post needs a picture, ya know...

Q: How does Jack Bauer smile and wink at a terrorist at the same time?
A: Though a scope. Check the picture below.

Gina : Dave-

I have no words.

They should just give up and have her hook up with Edgar. Actually, come to think of it, no... That would be awful.

If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.

L-M-F-A-O.

Audry had me near tears last night. Poor girl. She's too good for Jack. I like this new no fuss no muss chick---"I accepted him for who he was" ouch, that had to hurt.

~gina

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Thanks for coming...

Monday, January 23, 2006 > Trackback URL

Thanks to everyone who came out this weekend and making it a special time. Extra thanks to Andrew Walsh for passing out with his shoes on, it really gave everyone a chance to brush up on their artistic skills. Personally, I am a large fan of the Tampax wrapper stuck to his head.

More pictures to hit MMP tonight. I have to transfer them off the camera.

Anonymous : Where are the damn pics?

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Someone please stop this feeling.

Friday, January 20, 2006 > Trackback URL

So Alyssa shoots me an IM today proclaiming to have found one of the most random pieces of video on the internet. Natch, I ask her what the video was about and she simply sends me a link demanding that I watch it. The link checked out, it was to iFilm, what I then saw was like a shock and awe campaign.

This is one of those things where it is so bad that it is good. Why the hell does Europe dig this guy?! I wish David Hasselhoff was hooked on rat poison.

Alyssa Sette: dude - you have the same name as him
Dave Amirault: thats all we share in common
Dave Amirault: aside from the good looks
Alyssa Sette: haah

The following video is the result of a really bad green screen. Seriously, if the United States ever wanted to change its policy on prisoner torture we could simply force our captives to watch this video on a loop for around 23 1/2 minutes, they'd be talking faster than the micro machines guy.

Anonymous : He's still alive? He shouldn't be after making that. I want 3 minutes of my life back!

Anonymous : Why the hell does Europe dig this guy?!

Europe does NOT dig this guy.
Believe me.

Chris,
The Netherlands

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This wind blows... Literally.

Thursday, January 19, 2006 > Trackback URL

Ok, WTF is up with the weather here on the East Coast. Seriously, this weekend you could have used a canoe at just about every ski resort, right when the rain let up and changed over to snow the wind kicked itself up to tornado status. What a kick in the friggin' crotch weather event that was. Here's how the conversation would have gone if the east coast and Mother Nature were talking...

East Coast : Sup Mother Nature. Thanks for the decent temperatures and seasonal snowfall amounts so far.

Mother Nature : Ya know, I do what I can. Ohh by the way, remember all that normal weather we were having... Yeah, about that, see I kinda sorta invited the tropics up to the east coast to party for the weekend.

East Coast : But it is MLK weekend! One of the busiest wknds of the season!

Mother Nature : Shaaaaa, about that. Sorry, I invited him up like 6 months ago and didn't realize the date. My bad. He's probably gonna bring along his friends, mild temperatures, driving rain and hurricane winds. Those dudes really like to party, so just a heads up.

East Coast : You're kidding me...

Mother Nature : Ohh, but don't worry. After the tropics leave things will get back to normal. Maybe a little snowfall. (Phone Rings) Yeah, that was hurricane winds, turns out he's gonna stick around a little longer than everyone else.

East Coast : You're a dirty bitch.

Ryan Amirault : COLORADO!

Anonymous : Yeah... so Sunday River was handing out ponchos on Sunday. You know it's bad when 4 lifts are open and they are handing out ponchos

Ryan Amirault : Ponchos are for poor people

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So this one takes some explaining...

Wednesday, January 18, 2006 > Trackback URL

Ok, so this one takes some explaining...
During the Sunday River leg of the farewell tour I spent the night at Matt's (CHU1) and Matt decided to break out the digital camera when I started making fun of how domesticated he has become. So here's the backstory, in the corner of his bedroom there was an ironing board, iron, vacuum cleaner and some awful Martha Stewart wreath. I then decided to take it upon myself to pretend to be Matt. I believe me exact words were "Ohhh, la de daaa, I'm Matt. I decorate my condo according to the seasons and keep it clean. Look at my in my neatly pressed shirt!".

So, that's why I'm looking like a tard in this picture.

Anonymous : A few points of clarification:

1) The seasonal wreath is from the now infamous "loft". The loft is in the process of being emptied

2) I own a vacuum

3) I iron my shirts. And as time permits, my pants too

4) The vacuum appears to be in need of emptying

Anonymous : i hope the loft is rocking some sort of porno groove decor.

i also hope your dvds are in alphabetical order...

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Celebrate one last time...

Tuesday, January 17, 2006 > Trackback URL

Come celebrate one last time...
The going away party is this Saturday, January 21st at Rusty's place. Everything is going down around 8:00 PM. If you're going to attend, please send an e-mail to either myself or Rusty so we can have some sort of head count for the keg(s). It would be great to get as many people as we can into Rusty's basement. So, show up and send me out with some sort of drunken style.

RSVP e-mail : dave's e-mail | rusty's email
Directions to Rusty's.

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Goodbye, Sunday River.

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Time to move on...
Of all the places I'm going to miss the most from back east, Sunday River is probably at the top of the list. This place has been incredibly good to me over the years. I've been fortunate enough to make lifelong friends, break into the ski industry and get some amazing experience from this resort. I will always be eternally greatful for all the opportunities and doors this place has opened for me.

Keep your eyes on MMP, Heather Burke from the Portland Press Hearald / Maine Sunday Telegram is writing up a story on me and my move for their Sports & Outdoors section. I'll be posting that at some point before the end of January.

I'm completely moved out of my seasonal rental. Said my goodbyes. Thanks for everything, Sunday River.

Anonymous : That shot is sooooo emo.

Anonymous : I'm pretty sure that was the point.

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The return of the Jack Bauer Power Hour.

Monday, January 16, 2006 > Trackback URL

It's a celebration, bitches.
Justin, Chris and I celebrated the return of the Jack Bauer power hour last night. It was an action packed event that started out with a bang... Literally. David Palmer got capped in the skull stump by a sniper an dropped to the ground like a bag of dirt. Something tells me he's not going to be selling me any more insurance. The non stop action didn't end there. Jack stole a helicopter, shot people, made cars explode and did it all with an "I don't give a fuck." attitude. When I die, I want to be reincarnated as Jack Bauer.

We all got pretty pissed when the football game went long and they had the balls to do a post-game show. Thankfully, the people at Fox knew that we were tuned in for 24 and not for some lame ass Howie Long commentary and erected some sort of pee your pants in anticipation countdown to non stop action in the lower right of our screen.

If anything can be learned from last night's two episode thrill-a-thon, it is that you never ask Jack Bauer to take you to a hospital because he will kill you.

Just a reminder, my going away party is this Saturday at Rusty's place in Worcester.

Anonymous : After 4 hours of Jack in 2 nights I don't know if I can wait a whole week! What an awesome show!

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A fun night at CHU1

Sunday, January 15, 2006 > Trackback URL

Well kids...
We wanted to end up at Howe Hill Road, ended up at CHU1 (Carriage House Unit 1), I ended up wearing Martha Stweart wreath and an ironing board. Outstanding. Pictures will be hitting MMP fastter than Jason Kidd hitting his wife. Well, Caitlin and I continued the Dave Amirault farewell tour at the Ippolitio house for the Pats game and then made our way to big Sherb's place. Turns out, CHU1 had more alcohol than we could deal with and ended up staying the night.

I'm sorry that I don't have a picture of this momentous evening right now, so I am reliant on google to provide a picutre. So, without further adeu here is the #1 image result according to google image search for "CHU1".

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It is official, I'm moving to Colorado!

Thursday, January 12, 2006 > Trackback URL

I'm moving to Boulder, Colorado!
That's right. I'm packing up everything I own and moving to Colorado to become the Online Editor for Freeskier Magazine. I'll be packing up 2Fast2Digital during the last week of January and driving my ass 2000+ miles across America to start my new career with Freeskier. Nobody thought I had the balls to do it, guess what, I'm going and there isn't any stopping me. I even left my skis with my cousin this past weekend when I was out visiting. That's how serious I am.

I'm going to miss all my friends and family, but you know what... I've got a phone, I've got MMP and I check my e-mail like a maniac, so it isn't like you're not going to know what is going on in my life. So, don't be a stranger. Leave me some good luck comments and be sure to say your goodbye's at my going away party. Rusty is throwing it at his place in Worcester on the 21st of January. More details to come...

Anonymous : good luck, is rusty gonna give you the night of your life ??

Anonymous : have not seen you cross the stateline yet....

Osman : Congratulations. You'll love it here.

Anonymous : Should love it Colorado is a great place to live.

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Those wacky tele-skiers...

Wednesday, January 11, 2006 > Trackback URL

Those wacky tele-skiers... Cooking their boots in the oven so they form fit. Seriously, one of Ryan's friends felt that her Scarpa's weren't fitting correctly so she decided to throw them in the oven for 30 minutes at a cool 350 degrees. What a waste of heat, I would have at least utilized that upper shelf with some chocolate chip cookies, sugar cookies, a canned ham or some brownies. Also, one word of advise for those of you that are throwing footwear in a heat source, when these suckers start to heat up all you can smell is dirty cooked feet. Not exactly the sexiest smell for your humble abode. And, as we all know, tele skiers do not shower or shave... Yeah, the condo pretty much smelled like Bigfoot's dick.

On the upside, the boots fit much better the next day. Too bad all my nosehairs were burnt out.

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If you keep making that face...

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Growing up, my cousin Ryan liked to make funny faces to everyone. My Aunt Carol would always warn him that one day if he kept making them his face would get stuck like that. So here he is, 16 years later with the same dumb expression on his face. Big Ry, I bet you wish you listed to your mom now, huh?

Anonymous : I believe that was the face that Ryan made when he found out it was going to cost us $6 to take a 25 minute drive from the Denver airport to Boulder on the toll road

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I can't hear you Burger King!

Monday, January 09, 2006 > Trackback URL

Ok, so we had a sick day at Copper. The forecast called for light snowfall and ended up being over a foot of fresh powder. So, here's a picture of me shredding up the Copper Bowl this afternoon. At some spots, the snow was over two and a half feet deep! We managed to gather up some video of this expereince with Marc's point and shoot digital camera. Me, being the uber dork that I am, arranged this footage to music and now have it available for download. The video quality blows and don't expect any ground breaking cinematography, but what the hell do you expect for video coming off of a $250 point and shoot camera.

Download the video. [ 6 mb, .wmv format]

Anonymous : That is some high quality power skiing and a technical cat track run as well.

DMo : Seriously. The. Best. Cat Track. Skiing. Ever.

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Took a spill...

Sunday, January 08, 2006 > Trackback URL

Ok, thought it would be a good idea to drop off this rock drop-off into some flat snow. Turns out, it wasn't a good idea and I went head over heels after I landed. I wish we had an instant replay but you'll have to settle for the post spillage photo.

The skiing totally sucks out here at Copper. Look, there's exposed rock behind me! That's some thin friggin cover.

Traci : Hahaha, totally posted this pic in my blog, too! http://jubes2681.textamerica.com/

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More pics...

Saturday, January 07, 2006 > Trackback URL

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Young Guns Open pics...

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Shredding the trees...

Friday, January 06, 2006 > Trackback URL

Ok, so it was 3:30, all the upper alpine lifts were closing so we decided to venture down into the trees. Here's a shot of me destroying the powder. Sorry that the picture is a little blurred, I was motoring through these trees. It is funny how a foot of powder in the woods can make your skiing confidence go through the roof...

Dave Amirault : mr modest at it again

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Me dropping into "The Taco"

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Here's a shot of me dropping into "The Taco" on the backside of Copper Mountain. This is a hike in zone so it keeps the joey's out. Really sick snow, super steep and there's that nasty cornice to drop into. Tomorrow we're building a little lip and throwing 360's into it. I'll get some video of that...

I'd post it now, but Fuji uses some bullshit non-standard USB connector cable for their busted ass cameras. Yeah, I didn't have the SLR out that day, just Ryan's ghetto ol' Wal-Mart point and shoot.

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Dropping into a 20 foot cornice.

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Here's a sick picture from what it looks like from behind me when I drop into "The Taco". It honestly feels like you drop off the planet. Super sick.

I like pictures like this, mostly because they scare the living bejeezus out of my mother... Yeah, she checks MMP. C'mon, what else would T-Unit do at work? I wish we had some better pics of me hucking off of this. Ohh well...

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The view from the Condo.

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The view from the condo... Totally sucks, I know. I can't wait to get back east, the view from my place in Maine is 100x better. Yeah, the sky is never this blue over here. I just did that in photoshop... Same thing with all the snow, totally fake.

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Colorado time...

Wednesday, January 04, 2006 > Trackback URL

Headed to Colorado today. I'll be blogging the entire experience. Stay tuned.
Oh yeah, those of you that get Ski Time magazine, turn to page 78 and read the story about when Matt Harvey, Alex Balsen and Denise Jarowski were crashing at Shenanigans.

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Stop all the downloadin'.

Tuesday, January 03, 2006 > Trackback URL

Traci : Who knew Communism sounded so good?

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