Some kid actually ripped the entire DVD of "Teddybear Crisis" to YouTube. Wow. We've got the DVD on sale in the Freeskier Store, so if you like what you see head on over and cop this one for $14.99.

So, until they take this down for the blatant copyright violation you can hit the play button and check out one of the best ski movies from last year.

Rusty and Charlie headed up to Canada (Montreal to be exact) this weekend to celebrate an American national holiday. As expected, it was a weekend of debachury, gambling, nudie-bars and binge like alcohol consumption.

If they had to sum up their entire weekend with a photo this would pretty much suffice.

See, here's why you don't want to wear condoms...

...it can provide you with pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases such as AIDS.

If I had magical powers I would make this stupid show go away. It sickens me that people vote and care about who wins this lame fucking show. Let's take this years winner, he looks like Fred Flintstone and thats wack as hell. The name of the show is "American Idol" not, "Average Guy Who Can Sing".

I can't stand that show. It makes my blood boil. I hate Randy, Paula and Simon. If I was given a rifle and one bullet and told to kill one of them, I'd line them up in a row and pray that the bullet goes through all three of their heads.

For those of you that watch and respond with "but it's my guilty pleasure", I'd put you 4th in line for the Randy-Paula-Simon bullet saving barrage of pain. The show is nothing more than a glorified Karaoke contest with a metrosexual host and three of the most empty skulls on the planet judging. One of them has man boobs, the other says "dawg" to the point that I'd like to give myself a full frontal lobotomy with a wine opener and the other one is just plain crazy.

According to this survey by Yahoo! TV 14,973 people will be tuning into day 6 of 24. These people will be in for the most action packed season in television history. The 1,306 people that are on the fence tuning in will be murdered by Jack Bauer. Why do you ask, because Jack Bauer hates indecisiveness and if you're not with him you're an enemy. So, here's a warning to the 1,306 people that took the yahoo poll... Jack knows who you are, and when he's done whipping China's ass in season 6, he's coming after you.

When Superman gets drunk and drives in Lithuania this is what happens.

Driver Has 18 Times Legal Alcohol Limit

Traci checked in today with this fantastic bar sign. She delivered a very simple message...

I want to own this bar.

I think Traci would just like to entertain the concept that alcohol would be her work.

I know what you're all thinking....

A snowboarding clip on MMP?! BLASPHEMY!!!

Well, before you get your panties in a knot, hit play on the clip. This has got to be one of the best falls I've ever seen. It is a double whammy.

Took the trip to A-Basin today for some late season turns. Weather turned to crap so I headed home around 2:30. Not to shabby that I have this kind of skiing an hour and fifteen minutes from my house... In MAY!

Here's a situation, a girl just cheated on you and you're pissed. Here in America we are programmed in such a way that when we feel something we immediately look for a consumer product to satisfy that emotion, typically a greeting card. The one problem with this situation is that Hallmark doesn't have the right greeting card for this situation. You want to call this girl a cunt, however all you can find are mushy and friendly greeting cards. Enter the people at grateness.com! They serve up some of the best greeting cards for when Hallmark just doesn't quite hit the mark.

Imagine the look on her face when she gets this doozer in the mail. Take that, skank. No wait, scratch that... Take that, cunt!

Philip is a man's man, he drinks, smokes and parties his ass off. Typically people recycle their bottles and cans, not Flip, he places them on display so people can understand why he doesn't wake up before the crack of noon.

That is a substantial night of drinking right there. Jim would be proud.

Well, it is springtime... Time to do some spring cleaning in the Freeskier merchandise warehouse. We're blowing out all our t-shirts at $9.99 and you can get just about every ski movie from this past year for $11.99-$14.99.

So, if you wanna get in on some good Freeskier merchandise and get it for less than a blumpkin from a toothless transient I suggest you visit our online store.

Freeskier Online Store

Yeah, that's my first product photo. Not to shabby, eh?

Finally, I found a trampoline in Colorado.
Moving into my new house in the next couple of weeks, you can bet your ass that the first transaction I make will be an 18 foot trampoline.

photo: ryan amirault

I should work for the psychic hotline...
John-boy finally proposed to Jen. If you remember, when they got their new dog (Cody) I predicted it. Because we all know, the precursor to any engagement is some sort of animal.

Congratulations to both of them, I've known each of them since my first day at Assumption. John lived with Angelli and Jen was dating Devo... Which is something that I will continue to throw in her face until the day she dies.

Many of you wonder what Jen sees in John, I've comprised this short list of John's qualities that every woman will find irresistible.

• He drives a Toyota Carolla. One word describes this vehicle : Baller
• He frequently wets the bed. Jen loves that.
• Previous to dating Jennifer, his pickup method was to inform women to his embarrassingly small genitals.
  
• John once went an entire week without showering.
• He's swam laps in the Assumption College duck pond.
• He was affectionately nicknamed "Pukey" on the 2nd day of freshman year for his uncanny ability to throw everything he ever ate up simply by ingesting small amounts of $9.99 vodka.
• Our resident assistant from freshman year caught him doing "the reversal" and subsequently sent him to the hospital for alcohol poisoning.
• His couch from sophomore year was thrown down a path, fully engulfed in flames.

Well, that's enough hatin' on Herbie. Congratulations to the both of them. It really is amazing when two of your best friends decide to spend the rest of their lives together.

The wedding is going to be the biggest shit-show of all time. I can't wait!

Thanks to Traci for the glorious image.

Congratulations to Peter Olenick, proud winner of the 2006 Toaster Placement award.

Ok, who does this guy think he is taking my license plate. Let's review, US Ski Team plates, check. My nickname, check. C'mon a-hole, give em' back. I'm gonna have to check the DMV out here in Colorado to see if that is available. If not I've got some other ideas...

4NIK8R
NGA4LFE
URPL8SUX

I'm going to take the pize here for the biggest dork around. My runs are now tracking in Google Earth. I may be the only dork that runs with a GPS unit. Ohh well, screw you guys. I'm going to ski with it this weekend and track what I get at A-Basin.

So I guess I'll be posting my nightly runs in MMP for your viewing entertainment. It will probably get old real quick, unless I come across a mountain lion or something sweet and have to defend myself. I am running in one of the loops that has warnings all over the joint for rattlesnakes, cyotes and mountain lions. Maybe I'll start running with chum or some sort of meat product to attract them. That should help lower my times. Ha.

Some of you may remember Big Sherb, the highly successful real estate mogul from Bethel, Maine. What you guys know is that we worked together at Sunday River and have slayed just about every watering hole in town, he's got an obsessively alphabetized DVD collection, his home is nicknamed CHU1 (Carriage House Unit 1) and he's been a blog regular for quite some time. What you didn't know is that in his spare time he likes to head down south to go big game fishing.

So, here's Big Sherb in front of a barracuda that he slayed. No, the Sherb doesn't even eat fish. He simply catches them so he can pose for interesting photos like this. Odd, throwing the peace sign doesn't exactly seem fitting for a situation where you just ripped something out of nature and deprived it of oxygen until it dies.

But hey, good photo.

This sign has to be French, because only in France would you need a sign that tells people not to wear their banana-hammocks in the streets. Keep that shit on the beach, no wait better yet, keep that shit in the privacy of your own home. Or here's a better solution, just wear a bathing suit like the rest of the world. Nobdody wants to see you smuggling grapes when they're trying to enjoy the beach.

You know what, I just had a second thought... Perhaps this sign is in another country that gets a ton of French tourists and the sign is there to keep their frog asses in check. Just a hunch.

I'd like to thank the fans in Philly for this. Best sign ever held up at a ballgame, ever.

Thanks to Smitty for the e-mail containing this gem.

Here it is, the Freeskier news & technology center... Aka, my desk. I'm even closer to the Red Bull fridge now which is not a good thing considering I'm addicted to the stuff.

Please note the Sunday River trail map on the wall. Keepin it real.

This is what May is like in Colorado. Do you see any green there? Didn't think so. Now if you excuse me, I'm going to ski until the 4th of July. Please note the tracks in the snow, its because it snowed that day.

Some of you may be wondering what I'm going to do for the remainder of July, August and September... Well, I'm going to ski camp at Whistler. That's what I'm doing. Well, that and boozin.

7:02 am PDT: Awoken at home by phone call from Kevin Towers. Learns he's traded to Boston. Calls Towers a pickle smoker and tells him San Diego is for pussies anyway.

7:05: Takes 40 naked cuts in front of a mirror.

7:07: Packs a duffel bag with 10 tank tops, 5 pairs of tight jeans, and no underwear. Announces "Dougie's going commando" to no one in particular.

7:08: Kills it.

7:09: Kills it again.

7:10: Calls Wake, tells him "Dougie's going deep tonight!" Wake says it's getting dusty in here. Dougie calls him a pantywaist.

7:15: Takes cologne shower. Uses Stetson.

7:21: Drives to the airport. Uses the shoulder to bypass traffic. Flips the bird to drivers who make faces. Screams "Stay nancy, San Diego!" when someone honks at him.

7:38: Parks Escalade in front of terminal. Flips keys to airport police officer.

7:40: Passes through airport security. Refuses to remove 4" belt buckle for metal detector. Offers to show TSA his security wand.

7:42: Gets three orders of chicken parm at Sbarro.

8:10: Plane takes off.

8:11: Dougie dials Tito on cell phone. Screams "Dougie's going deep tonight!" Tito shrieks, puts on a fourth layer of clothing.

8:12: Flight attendant asks Dougie to turn off cell phone. Dougie asks flight attendant to turn off her high beams.

8:19: Pilot turns off Fasten Seatbelts sign.

8:19:05: Dougie enters bathroom. Kills it.

11:24 am EDT: Reads back issue of Bushwackers magazine.

11:49: Opens portable DVD player, watches Nina Hartley video. Orders three Sambucas and veal parm.

12:30: Uses cell phone to order $1,295 worth of items from in-flight catalog. When flight attendant protests, asks if she'd like to sit on his Brookstone.

12:34: Receives visit from co-pilot, who demonstrates the Airfone. Dougie calls Curt Schilling on Airfone, asks if he has Prince Albert in a can. Hangs up.

12:35: Co-pilot returns to cockpit.

12:35:15: Dougie calls over flight attendant. Asks if co-pilot is a pickle smoker.

12:43: Calls Derek Lowe on Airfone, asks if Lowe is hung over. Tells Lowe he shaved Trinka's pubes into the shape of a D, asks Lowe if he's ever been with a woman having revenge sex.

12:45: Calls Hazel Mae, tells her to wear something low-cut tonight. Mae faints.

1:01: Finds Brian Giles' Amex in his wallet, calls NESN switchboard on Airfone using Giles' Amex. Asks if Tina Cervasio is a stracciamanici.

1:15: Orders Pellegrino. Flight attendant brings Perrier. Dougie pisses in cup, asks if flight attendant would like some Perrier.

1:20: Calls David Wells on Airfone using Geoff Blum's Visa. Tells Wells to get his fat fucking ass in shape or he'll get a towel party.

1:34: Calls Remy on Airfone using Dewon Brazelton's MasterCard. Tells Remy to pick out some nice Game On! girls for a postgame party tonight.

1:36: Calls the flight attendant over, asks what's the biggest sopressata she's ever eaten.

2:03: Flight lands at O'Hare. Dougie commandeers cart for transporting disabled, drives through concourse at 25 mph. Stops at Sbarro, picks up 2 orders of chicken parm for second flight; stops at Borders, picks up Penthouse Letters.

2:12: Arrives at gate for Logan flight. Asks gate agent if she's ever heard of Josh Bard or Cla Meredith. Asks if she's ever heard of the Motherfucking 2004 World Champion Boston Red Sox. Dougie smiles.

2:14: Boards into first class

2:15: Calls Ozzie Guillen on Airfone using Scott Linebrink's Diner's Club card. Thanks Ozzie for keeping AL championship seat warm, but Dougie can take it from here. Ozzie breaks into stream of Spanish curses. Dougie says, "Whatever, puta" and hangs up.

2:17: Calls Derek Lowe on Airfone using Josh Barfield's Carte Blanche card. Asks if Derek ever got a rusty trombone from Trinka. Hangs up

2:31: After spending 10 minutes trying to get Airfone to work with Rob Bowen's SpeedPass, gives up and uses his cell to call Roger Clemens. Asks if he's wearing Ninja Turtle shoelaces like a little bitch. When the flight attendant protests, Dougie screams for eggplant parm and two Sambucas.

2:32: Debbie Clemens picks up the other line. Dougie offers her a Dirty Hitler mustache.

2:35: Dougie's starting tonight, so time for some BP. Goes to galley, removes clothes except for cowboy hat, and takes 50 naked cuts. Makes eye contact with flight attendant. Screams, "DOUGIE'S GOING DEEP TONIGHT!" He does not have an erection.

2:45: Calls Chien-Ming Wang on Airfone using Chan Ho Park's JCB card. Tells him the bombs we dropped on his country are nothing compared to the bombs Dougie's going to drop on Wang tonight. Says "Wang" a few more times, laughs. Hangs up.

3:27: Dougie wakes up from a nap and lets fly with a 10-second parm fart. He gets Penthouse Letters from his carry-on and heads to the lavatory, grabbing a Sambuca from the beverage cart on the way. Dougie hates courtesy flushes.

3:29: Dougie wonders where the fuck this small midwestern college is anyway.

3:30: Kills it.

3:38: Opens the lav door and demands high-quality toilet paper. Screams, "DOUGIE CAN'T CATCH WITH A HEMORRHOID!"

3:41: Lights a match.

3:42: Fire alarm goes off. Dougie is nonplussed.

3:43: Alarm disabled. Pilot leaves cockpit, asks, "Who the hell do you think you are?" Dougie nonchantly replies, "I'm a stud who hits bombs."

3:58: Uses cell phone to call Tito and confirm he's hitting cleanup. Tito shrieks, puts on fifth layer of clothing.

4:15: Plane lands.

4:16: Dougie getting impatient. Sees pic of Natalie Gulbis in the in-flight magazine. Kills it to waste time.

4:23: Gate is being swung too slowly. Screams, "DOUGIE'S GOTTA GET TO THE PARK!" Opens exit door, deploys inflatable slide. Three Boston PD cruisers are waiting to escort Dougie to the ballpark.

4:29: Takes call from Tom Menino. Calls him "Mayor Giuliani." Announces that he will hit a bomb for his paisan.

4:30: The motorcade stops at Papa Gino's. Dougie orders two meatball parm sandwiches. He leaves a $100 bill.

4:48: Dougie arrives at the ballpark. He puts Theo in a headlock and gives John Henry a noogie.

4:51: Walks into clubhouse. Announces, "TWO BOMBS TONIGHT!" Terry Francona gasps, locks office door.

4:54: Changes for BP. Does not wear a cup. You don't need a cup with balls of steel.

I'm spending cinco de mayo in party central... Otherwise known as Ogden, Utah. That's right party people, I'm in Utah on special assignment for Freeskier in mormonville. Man, do these people know how to party it up. I actually saw some people out today holding hands in public! Craaaaaazy.

Without skiing this state pretty much does nothing for me... Especially Ogden. It looks like everyone packed up their shit and got the f out of here as fast as they could. Thankfully, I'm flying home tonight and will be back in Boulder around 11pm so I can celebrate Mexican independence the right way. Piss ass drunk and being counterproductive, aka, the Mexican way! Who knows, I may even break into some spontaneous landscaping today in an attempt to be more Mexican.

I keed, I keed.

File this little image under the "who the f&%$ doesn't?" category in your file drawer.

Here in Boulder there is a liquor store that is supposedly the largest liquor store within 1,000 miles. They actually have a bouncer that cards you before you even walk in. Crazy, I've never been to a booz store that cards you before you even buy anything.

They've got this massive beer cooler that goes on forever. It is divided up into sections, here's the "Ghetto", obviously they showcase all their extravagant and upscale beers here like Keystone Light, Keystone Ice, Natty Light, PBR, etc.

The greatest part about the ghetto cooler is that you can waltz right out for less than $14 bucks with a 30 pack of cold rocks.

I'm once again headed to Utah this weekend. I'm presenting at a conference for Freeskier. Since I'm headed to the land of values it is time to show those mormon bastards how the east coast brings the ruckuss. Since their beer is ultra-homo and has a weak amount of alcohol it is going to be a booz marathon.

Here is an artists rendering of what this weekend is going to be like.

Walsh recently re-designed his MySpace profile with some interesting information. Here's a screen shot of his most recent update.

Walsh, we all will continue to be your friend and support you despite your choice at an alternate lifestyle.