We have a virus?

Wednesday, September 24, 2003  > Trackback URL
So a client calls me up this morning in a frenzy. They think that they have a virus. So i come right away, armed with norton 2004. Well, it turns out that this thing had 1194 corrupted files. This thing needs an exorcist, not virus software.

Dave

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You sick fuck.

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Who was the pervert that thought that pencils needed to look like a cock? yeah, probably a chick.

Dave

Anonymous Anonymous : Thank you for the good writeup. It in fact was a amusement account it.
Look advanced to far added agreeable from you!
However, how can we communicate?

Also visit my weblog ... minecraft gratis    

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My Kung-Fu is Stronger

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My Kung-Fu is stronger than yours...

Ladies and gentlemen, this is a Dell Poweredge 2600, jam packed with goodies. Dual Intel Xeon processors at 3.06 GHZ, 2 gigs of ram, four, count em, fout 146gig SCSI drives and one big, nasty PowerVault backup drive.

Some of you may be asking, "Dave, why do you need a computer this fast," well my friends, it downloads pornography and plays multiplayer games of Unreal Tournament 40x better than a desktop computer.

Actually, this sucker is for work. I have to set it up over the next three weeks to replace the existing servers on the network. Simplification is key.

But, hey, wouldn't this thing be freakin sweet for porno and games.

Dave

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Fuxored.

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Well... This thing is pretty much a boat anchor. Notice the pretty blue screen of death. Awesome. Good thing it isn't mine.

Dave

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Goodnight, Cait.

Tuesday, September 23, 2003  > Trackback URL
So my nerd-o, naked big titted trophy winning sister comes in my room to say good night and she had this wonderful piece of fashon on. She's 16 years old and barely scratches 100 pounds, I am willing to bet that the smell of Jack Daniels would send her straight to an AA meeting, and yet she's wearing a long sleeved T from the man, the myth, the legend, Jack Daniels himself.

Wait a minute, I want boozin sleepwear.

Budweiser, if you are reading this, please mail me something budweiser to sleep in... Feel free to send me ten 30-racks, once I drink them all I can stitch together the empty cases.

That is all.

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The fighting nun.

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Nobody messes with the Catholic church baby, nobody. I heard that she's booked for a fight with DeLaHoya, she was going for Tyson but I guess she doesn't qualify for that weight class. Time to get this bitch on a daily workout schedule and some rip-fuel.

Seriously, send her in to end all the rape scandals. The church will have that shiz settled in no time flat. Good ol' street justice.

You know, for a Nun. She sure does talk a lotta shit. I thought they couldnt do that?

The more I think about it, the more I am sure of my answer. If this crazy bitch took a shot at me, I'd knock her out. Yeah, I'd hit a woman, a puppet woman. I'll never hit a "real" woman, but I will shake the shit outta one.

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Periodic table.

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Ms. Crabapple: Does anyone know the atomic weight of bolognium?

Martin: Deliscious?

This is how bored I am in English class, I am taking a picture of the periodic table of elements and relating it to random Simpsons quotes. Wow. How did that professor not notice that I was using a cameraphone and then texting all this into my phone. I sit in the front row!

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Community college.

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Community college is like a disco with books. Here's ten dollars... Let me get my learn on.
God get me out of here!

This is my English class, I somehow managed to sneak behind the desk and gain Admin access to the computer at the front of the room. So I figued I would show all of you how old these people are, seriously, I go to school with the freakin cryptkeeper.

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The barber has a mullet wig?

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Ok, So I needed a haircut today and my old barber sucked major ass so I ventured out to find a new one. I roll up to this local barber shop and what do I see when I walk in... The barber HIMSELF, has a mullet. I sat down in the waiting area, however I really had to think this one out. If the guy that is cutting my hair thinks a mullet is nice enough to make his personal hairstyle, what does that say about the haircut he's gonna give me. I don't wanna come out of the chair lookin like Boy George, George Michael, Max Headroom or David Bowie.

Needless to say I was intrigued by this fact and decided NOT to get my haircut there.

Upon arrival home, my mom asked why I didn't get a haircut. I told her where I went and why I didn't let the barber cut my hair. WELL, turns out that he is wearing a wig, and a mullet wig to make it even worse. Ha, can you believe that, they actually make MULLET wigs.

Crazy.

Dave

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Now the Nun is ready for Tyson.

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Bam

Look at that, now the Nun is ready to fight Iron Mike. All she needed was some horse steroids, a health rider and an industrial sized case of vagasil. Bring the pain Tyson, bring the pain.

Anyone else find it disturbing that the Nun has her shirt off in this picture? Am I alone here where I say that it is really making me horn.. WHISTFUL, I MEAN WHISTFUL.

{runs away from computer screaming}

Dave

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Bling youself out with the Ice Machine.

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Dave: Yes, hello. I would like to see what you have for a selection of 10 karat earrings. I need some bling bling to match my Escilade and the rented dubs on it.

Ice Machine: Whiiiirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr............

Dave: You listenin to me fool, don't be disrespectin'.

Ice Machine: Whiiirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr............

Dave: Ohh snap, it isn't that kind of "ice" machine. I think I've been listenin to too much P-diddy.

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[url=http://www.milesgershon.com][img] data:image/jpeg;base64,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 [/img][/url]

Monique    

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Fun at work, never!?

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Bubble wrap and aviators... Who says you can't have fun at work! Damn skippy this stuff kicks ass.

Now if you excuse me, I have to pop this shizzle.

You @sses need to start leaving some f'ed up feedback, c'mon. Hook a brotha up.

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Dear MacGuyver

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Dear MacGuyver,
I am writing you because you are my last hope. Enclosed in this message I have provided you with a paperclip, thumbtack and red bottle opener. Please invent a time machine that will somehow make an 8 hours work day seem like the blink of an eye.

MacGuyver, while you're at it, can you also whip up a "Wham" reunion tour. Man would that be sweet.

Your pal and devoted fan,
Dave

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Dear A-Team.

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Dear A-Team,
Since MacGuyver has failed in all attempts to create a time machine and Wham reunion with the materials I have provided him, I have no choice but to have him eliminated. Enclosed in this letter are the very same paperclip, thumbtack and red bottle opener that I have provided him with. I just wanted to level the playing field when you come to blows with him. He is a very crafty guy.

Best of luck eliminating MacGuyver. I know I can count on you.

Dave

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All hail Getty.

Monday, September 22, 2003  > Trackback URL
Alcohol + Social Setting (Bars) + Russel Sands Marshall + Shiny Things & Flags = The getty flag on top of a 25 foot cherry picker.

So Rusty came down to RI for some good ol' fashoned Assumption style boozin at the Angelli & Haddock residence and we ended up walking to the bar with Chris, Traci, Tom, Caitlin, Ryan, Ryan, Rusty and Myself.

While at the bar Rusty aquired a beautiful Southern Comfort wall mirror and the Getty flag. It does look awesome at the top of the cherry picker.

Dave

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Rosco's Chicken N' Waffles.

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The man, the myth, the legend, the gopher. (The Goph)

That's right ladies and gentlemen, this is Chris Angelli, doing what he does best, chillin with the homies. You all know how this cat rolls. Biggie bam.

Play on playa.

Dave

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Go Jenkins, it's your birthday.

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Yeah, so Stickboy and Walsh decided to break in their new Crib in Salisbury Estates this past weekend with a little get together...

Get together is a nice word for Kegger.

There's Matt (French Roo) doing an impressive kegstand that warranted a photo.

Yeah, we got pretty bombed that night.

Dave

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Return of Magnum PI

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The blue blockers strike again, this covert image was aquired when my dad's business partner wanted to take these babies out for a test drive... Little did he know I was armed with the cameraphone. Bam.

Dave

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Yankees Suck.

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This photographic gem was taken from the 1st baseline at Yankee Stadium. Pfif and I went to the last game of the series in the Bronx, a good time was had by all. Except for the god awful traffic and the non stop merges.

On a lighter note, we did decide to take a bit of a detour on the way home and venture off into the Bronx. It looked like every single DMX video I have ever seen. Needless to say the doors were locked and windows were up.

Dave

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Dave, put down your phone.

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Just to annoy the shit out of some people I took a random picture while at the bar.

Hey, look, its Rusty about to miss another shot because he's 3 long islands and a few beers deep. What a great night, surprisingly I had some will power and didn't plunge endless dollar bills into the golden tee machine.

Dave

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Rock on mom, rock on.

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Ok, so Caitlin goes rummaging through the crap-fest, I mean swap meet at the St. Gregs festival and digs up these gems... for 25 cents.Where else but in America can you look like Magnum PI's very own Tom Sellick for twenty-five cents. Wow.

Did I mention the fact that they were in the original packaging, thats right my friends. Amazing.

Momma T, tossed these bad larry's on and forgot that I owned a quick draw like camera phone so I MacGuyver'ed myself this pic. Figured it was a good way to break in the new internet dealie blog thing.

Dave

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The phantom 30 pack.

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Ok, so I go to open the trunk to my car today and I find this...

A perfectly good, unopened 30 pack of Busch Light.

Starting bid is $10 dollars, do I hear $10 dollars?

Wow, I must have had a good weekend if I can't remember buying a 30 pack of beer. Wait a minute, maybe that is my emergency 30 pack. It reads , "In case you regain consciousness, break case and consume until everything goes black and Wilson-Philips actually look hot."

Didn't that crazy cow have her stomach stapled online? Wow, the wonders of technology.

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Someone recently said, in regards to the aviators, that "they've got to be twice the size of normal glasses". Sooooooooo, I took this little snapshot slash scientific experiment.

It turns out, in fact, that the aviators are exactly 2.1x larger than my normal glasses. Then I figured that there had to be some sort of correlation towards larger sized novelty objects and the 1980's... Roll with me a bit on this one.

Aviators: Insanely large sunglasses, ovbiously rad.

Big Hair: Once again, insanely large, full of hair spray and always fun. IE: Twisted Sister's, "I wanna rock"

Eddy Murphy: Big lips, big teeth, funny guy.

Madonna: In the 80's was a BIG slut, was a good time back in the day.



See people, it's as simple as science. In the 1980's, big things were fun. Hence, the glasses are more fun than normal ones. Or something like that.

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French-roo. AKA Matt Jenkins

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Rusty, matt, and myself hit up Jillians On monday night. Nothin like boozin on a monday night. Watchin denver kick some ass. You know it. Hey, whatever happened to big league chew?

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Beer in the bathroom.

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Miles away from ordinary... Inches from the john.

Isn't it awesome when you're drinkin' a beer and droppin a deuce at the same time. Hey, you all know that you've done it at one point. Just be greatful that the camera wasn't rotated 180 degrees, that would not have been a pretty sight... Wait a minute, I crap roses, of course it would have been a pretty sight!

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Oh no!

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Alcohol abuse. That is a party foul.

Don't you hate it when the beer you're drinking while dropping a deuce slides off the edge of the tub and smashes into a billion pieces in the one place of the house where you absolutly must be barefoot. Thats right kids, I'm talkin about the shower. OR as rusty calls it, his special naked place.

Watch your feet.

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Went into the multimedia lab at School tonite, noticed that they have G5's.

I need to steal this computer... Who is down for a covert operation?

We will form a covert team of bad-ass army rejects and bounty hunters, we shall call ourselves "Team Strike Force". We'll have a cool jeep, bandannas and M16's. Chuck Norris hair is a must, Steven Sagal look alikes or Steven Sagal himself need not apply.... Now that I think about it, same thing goes for Jean Claude Van-Damne. Unless he's like he was in bloodsport, man that movie was freakin sweet. Remember when that jacked freaky asian dude threw that shit in his eye and made him all dazed but then he focused on his blindfolded training and kicked the living chink out of him...

Whoah, I'm going to go watch Bloodsport. No doubt TNT or the Superstation is having a 24 hour marathon. PEACE.

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Golden tee @ Jillians.

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Oh man, this place has golden tee. I can kiss my wallet goodbye. Never combine alcohol and reality video games... Especially ones you are good at. Bring the pain

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That's a low urinal!

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Like a midget at a urinal, i had to be on my toes.

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Client: Ummm, Dave... Could you like, take all of this, and like make it new and faster and ummm, like more organized and better. Yeah, that'd be grrrreat.

Dave: You know I bill by the hour, right?

Anyone want my job this week?

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I am a man of many hats.

This man, is out of tissues. Damn seasonal allergies, I will smite you with endless amounts of double quilted kleenex with aloe. Provioded I can somehow get the box off of my head.

Wait a minute, I had to have been drinking here. Ahhhhhh, yes. Thats the explanation. Clearly I was drunk.

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The blue blockers strike again, this covert image was aquired when my dad's business partner wanted to take these babies out for a test drive... Little did he know I was armed with the cameraphone. Bam.

» Post a Comment

 > Trackback URL
Yeah, so Stickboy and Walsh decided to break in their new Crib in Salisbury Estates this past weekend with a little get together...

Get together is a nice word for Kegger.

There's Matt (French Roo) doing an impressive kegstand that warranted a photo.

Yeah, we got pretty bombed that night.

» Post a Comment

 > Trackback URL
Alcohol + Social Setting (Bars) + Russel Sands Marshall + Shiny Things & Flags = The getty flag on top of a 25 foot cherry picker.

So Rusty came down to RI for some good ol' fashoned Assumption style boozin at the Angelli & Haddock residence and we ended up walking to the bar with Chris, Traci, Tom, Caitlin, Ryan, Ryan, Rusty and Myself.

While at the bar Rusty aquired a beautiful Southern Comfort wall mirror and the Getty flag. It does look awesome at the top of the cherry picker.

» Post a Comment

 > Trackback URL
The man, the myth, the legend, the gopher. (The Goph)

That's right ladies and gentlemen, this is Chris Angelli, doing what he does best, chillin with the homies. You all know how this cat rolls. Biggie bam.

Play on playa.

Anonymous Anonymous : wow thats my TA!!!    

Anonymous Anonymous : wow thats my TA    

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 > Trackback URL
This photographic gem was taken from the 1st baseline at Yankee Stadium. Pfif and I went to the last game of the series in the Bronx, a good time was had by all. Except for the god awful traffic and the non stop merges.

On a lighter note, we did decide to take a bit of a detour on the way home and venture off into the Bronx. It looked like every single DMX video I have ever seen. Needless to say the doors were locked and windows were up.

» Post a Comment

 > Trackback URL
Just to annoy the shit out of some people I took a random picture while at the bar.

Hey, look, its Rusty about to miss another shot because he's 3 long islands and a few beers deep. What a great night, surprisingly I had some will power and didn't plunge endless dollar bills into the golden tee machine.

» Post a Comment

 > Trackback URL
Ok, so Caitlin goes rummaging through the crap-fest, I mean swap meet at the St. Gregs festival and digs up these gems... for 25 cents.Where else but in America can you look like Magnum PI's very own Tom Sellick for twenty-five cents. Wow.

Did I mention the fact that they were in the original packaging, thats right my friends. Amazing.

Momma T, tossed these bad larry's on and forgot that I owned a quick draw like camera phone so I MacGuyver'ed myself this pic. Figured it was a good way to break in the new internet dealie blog thing.

» Post a Comment