Oh jesus, this one just makes me shit my pants in laughter. This wack-job got his ass superglued to the royal throne as a prank and is now taking Home Depot to court. That's fantastic. Ya know what, next time someone puts glad wrap over my toilet and I end up peeing on it I am taking the Glad corporation to court for $1,000,000.

And ohh yeah one more thing Bob Dougherty, fifteen minutes of you sitting on your ass crying like a little bitch isn't leaving you to "rot". If you sat there overnight that may be considered ditching your glued up ass, but 15 minutes is a short wait. Deal with it, bitch.

BOULDER, Colo. - Home Depot was sued by a shopper who claims he got stuck to a restroom toilet seat because a prankster had smeared it with glue.

Bob Dougherty, 57, accused employees of ignoring his cries for help for about 15 minutes because they thought he was kidding.

“They left me there, going through all that stress,” Dougherty told The (Boulder) Daily Camera. “They just let me rot.”

The lawsuit, filed Friday, said Dougherty was recovering from heart bypass surgery and thought he was having a heart attack when he got stuck at the Louisville store on the day before Halloween 2003. A store employee who heard him calling for help informed the head clerk by radio, but the head clerk “believed it to be a hoax,” the lawsuit said.

Home Depot spokeswoman Kathryn Gallagher said she could not comment on pending litigation.

The lawsuit said store officials called for an ambulance after about 15 minutes. Paramedics unbolted the toilet seat, and as they wheeled the “frightened and humiliated” Dougherty out of the store, he passed out.

The lawsuit said the toilet seat separated from his skin, leaving abrasions.

“This is not Home Depot’s fault,” he said. “But I am blaming them for letting me hang in there and just ignoring me.”

This guy demonstrates how you can use a short length of hose to snake yourself a delicious treat from the backside of your toilet. Please note the insane amount of numbers on this diagram that are laid out in absolutly no particular order.

This entry was posted on Thursday, November 03, 2005 at Thursday, November 03, 2005. You can skip to the end and leave a response.