Production floor.

Wednesday, April 21, 2004  > Trackback URL
One of my clients, they've got a huge freakin production floor.

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Olsen twins board game.

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Play the new Olsen Twins Game : Jailbait Surprise!

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You've got to be kidding me.

Tuesday, April 20, 2004  > Trackback URL
Are you kidding me? Look what this tard-wrangler has on the back of their vehicle. "Please Do Not Tailgate". If I drove a Kia Spectra I would pray that someone rear end that POS vehicle into the junkyard. After I saw this I had to breakout the cameraphone, so I snapped a picture and the old bag came out to her car and gave me a dirty look... So I started to laugh and point. I'm going straight to hell. Ha.

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I'm Rick James, bitch.

Monday, April 19, 2004  > Trackback URL
Ok, check out this little gem I got in my inbox today... Turns out I'm a TOS violator.
"I am afraid that textamerica does not permit images taken from other web site due to possible copyright infringement problems and therefore we had to delete several images from your moblog, we hope you understand.

Textamerica "

Great, I'm not sure what they nuked from the blog. Chances are it was very funny. Well, this post is simply replacing one that was deleted by textamerica. I'm not sure what kind of funny text I wrote so I guess you all just have to deal with me not being funny again.

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It isn't brain surgery, is it?

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Ok, so charlie and I see an advertisement for the new Gordita Crunch at taco bell, so we make a god damn run for the border. Much to our shegrin they do not have the Gordita Crunch and continue to tell us that it is at "Participating locations only". These asses, they got us with the whole bait and switch. I feel so douped! So then they go to put paper in the debit card machine and it took them over 10 minutes because the mental defective behind the counter couldn't get her neurons to fire in a correct sequence... To top it all off, they screwed up my order and I didn't get my double decker taco, did I pay for it? Of course... Damn idiots over at the bell.

For those of you that follow the blog, you are realizing that I have a love/hate relationship with the bell. I love their food but hate their retard employees that screw everything up with their broken English and sub standard intelligence.

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L.A. face with an Oakland booty.

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Back by popular demand is the "Barbie of the Day". Today's Barbie of the Day is noneother than Barbie got Back... That's right, if you like em' round and big she's got the goods for you. L.A. face with an Oakland booty. All the brotha's want a piece of this double bubble. How can you blame them, this bitch has more curves then the Autobahn.

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I'm a huge dork.

Sunday, April 18, 2004  > Trackback URL
Oh man... I'm a geek. On the couch with a pocket pc. I can't go two hours without a computer. Ultra nerd. Now that the apartment has WiFi (That' i'm not cracking off the neighbors) I can browse the net from the couch on my pocket pc or laptop, let the laziness begin!

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An excellent shirt.

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Just check out the shirt that that dude is wearing. Man, the bleachers are a friggin zoo!

Anonymous Anonymous : Yeah, that's a Calvin and Hobbes shirt.    

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Beruit losers.

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I am undefeated at beruit tonight and am now the champion of the universe.

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My seats at Fenway.

Saturday, April 17, 2004  > Trackback URL
Fenway.

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Carrie and Pfif.

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Carrie and I are just enjoing the beautiful day here at Fenway while Pfif, aka CASPER deflects UV rays off of himself because he is impervious to any sort of tan.

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Sox Win. Yankees loose.

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The Yankees just got spanked and everyone here is wasted. Boston, at it's finest.

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Yankees Suck.

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Yankees suck.

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Charlie & The Gulper.

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Charlie, the gulper says hello. And apparently Charlie says "Fuck you".

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Here's how construction works...

Friday, April 16, 2004  > Trackback URL
Ok, let me explain something to all of you, this is how construction works here in New England.

First, Winter ends. Spring begins. With all the freeze and thaw cycles and heavy rains the pavement essentially gets washed away and potholes the size of Star Jones begin to appear in the road. Then, the state usually lets it slide for 2-3 weeks. Ya know, let a few cars fall into the pothole, cause a few accidents, then they will fix it. However, in order to fix it you have to close off two lanes of the highway, bring a police detail, these enormous signs that tell you to move left on the highway and about two dozen state workers, each being paid about $30 an hour to stand around and drink coffee and occasionally do some work. And by the time all of this is repaired and ready they are ready to do it all over again... Because it is Winter and they are just finished. Stunning.

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Little John.

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LiL Kimma: so if i come over after my banquet you gonna be there?
ozskier: whaaaat?
LiL Kimma: what do you mean what?
ozskier: whaaaaat?
LiL Kimma: i'm coming over tonight, or did you forget that
ozskier: whaaaat?
LiL Kimma: seriously david stop it!
ozskier: OKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY

Ladies and gentlemen, now you too can pretend to be Lil John with the Lil John soundboard. Enjoy.

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Thowback CD Of The Week!

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Ohh my god, remember these dudes. They used to rock, notice how I used the past tense on that one. Think back to the 90's when these guys came out, good lord everyone throught they were the next big thing. Remmeber the video with Sports Center? Man, what the hell happened to their careers. You know you're in bad shape when your tape sells for less than a blank cassette.

I was just fixing some of the computers here in the office and adding product updates when I saw this gem of a cd sitting on someone's desk. I just had to throw it in here.

And this, Ladies and Gentlemen, is your throwback cd of the week.

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Sox vs. Yankees

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Sox vs Yankees tomorrow, Schilling is pitching! I'm sure I will be posting pictures like a madman once I get to the park tomorrow. I just felt like rubbing this one in all your faces. My game on Wednesday night got rained out, so I've got to find out when that make-up game will be. Hopefully it wont be a doubleheader... I hate those. There is such a thing as TOO MUCH baseball.

What is the deal with me posting my face in everything today? So sorry to everone for having to deal with my mug. And what's up with this post not being funny? Damn, I guess Friday is really getting to me.

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Very entertaining magnets.

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Clinton is so much better!

Anonymous Anonymous : That's harsh but...... true.    

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Emperical proof.

Thursday, April 15, 2004  > Trackback URL
This is emperical proof of my supreme geekdom over all of you, well, most of you probably. I bet there are some real Uber dorks checking this that think a MSDN or security conference is childs play. Well, anyway, this is my ticket to a MSFT Security Summit in Boston next month, I bet it will be a great time for everyone. All us nerds playing on our pocket pc's, screwing with wifi and listening to some boring ass speeches about network security or lack there of. I'm thinking of dressing ultra cool for this event to make all those short sleeved metallica t-shirt wearing IT dorks look even more dorky. Kinda like Average Joe when the hunky guys came in and made the average dudes look pathetic, kinda like that... Except for the fact that I'm dorky yet still make these uberdorks look like basement dwelling dungeons and dragons freaks that have never been laid in their entire lives... Yeah, sorta like that.

Dude, I just said "Emperical"... What is wrong with me. God, I'm a nerd.

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Winblows xp home sucks.

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Windodws XP Home edition is the red headed stepchild to its family member Windows XP Professional. I dispise seeing these things in a business setting. It almost makes me as mad as a British accent, which I can't freakin' stand.

So here I am, waiting for this computer to turn on... What a great profile shot, NOT.

Ugh, I'd rather be watching a Who's The Boss or Charles In Charge marathon on TBS. That lets you know how much I like being here right now.

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Tax time!

Wednesday, April 14, 2004  > Trackback URL
Talk about waiting to the last minute. It is 5PM on April 15th, so I figured it was time for me to mail in my RI State, Maine State, Mass State and Federal Tax information. You may be asking why I have to file in so many states, well, let me tell you... I be strippin in the evening.

I can't wait until I get those gigantic checks, I'm gonna blow the money on the dumbest things ever. Here's a list of the dumb things I want.
1. Food Dehydrator - Screw paying 6 bucks for a bag of beef jerky, I'm making my own. Bitch.
2. 16:9 Widescreen Digital Television - I'm watching the red-sox in high def this season, damnit. And this isn't going to be any small television. We're talking 55-60 inches here. I want to be able to see this television from orbit.
3. Rims - I need bigger rims on the focus. Anything smaller than 18's simply will not do.
4. Rocks - "There's one thing you don't know about me Joe Rogan... I smoke rocks." Just kidding, no rocks.
5. Who's The Boss Season One DVD - Just kidding, this doesn't exist. However, if it did, I would own it.
6. Soprano's DVD's - Everyone needs these.

What do you guys plan on doing with your tax refund cash-ola?

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High tech security system!

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Wow, check out this high tech security system! Nasty. The only thing stopping anyone from robbing this joint blind is a $7.99 master lock and $2.50 worth of chain link. If it is good enough for retail, it's good enough for my apartment

Someone has got to tell these idiots that locking up a STORE is not like chaining your bike to the rack when you get to school... Unless you have a bike store, then its all good.

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Happy Earth Day!

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Happy April 14th, Canada's "National Club a Baby Seal Day". Here's one friendly Canadian enjoying his national holiday. Man, he's taking home one sweet pelt tonight. And it's a good thing that they are thinning the numbers of these dangerous animals! Look at how freakin clueless that seal is, he's just sittin' there, chillin. Little does he know he's about to get shanked up in the dome.

Ha, it is blog entries like this that make people think I'm crazy. Ohh well, you love it.

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Jesus hates movie previews!

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Man, I guess the Jeez pulled some strings... Because there are no previews before "The Passion". I guess he deserves an uninterrupted movie, he did die for all our sins and all.

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President Idiot.

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Now, at first glance this magnet just seems a bit funny. Ya know, ha ha, the president talks like an idiot. Then you realize that this magnet is a direct quote from the President Of The United States. Honestly, how could this guy ever make a line like this? Keep in mind that his entire day is orchestrated and manipulated by speechwriters, aides and assistants... He's practically a PR puppet when it comes to making statements and look at the crap that is coming out of his mouth. This guy has got the leave office.

Leave comments!

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Best Hat Ever

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Now, I'm all about hats and this little baby caught my eye yesterday. How incredibly white trash is this hat? It's splendid! I've got to go buy this, it would be the best bar hat ever. Imagine rocking this with a pair of aviators, or perhaps a stonewashed jacket with some jordache's. Yeah, that's some incredible style. The 80's are coming back, no matter if you like it or not!

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Best shirt ever.

Tuesday, April 13, 2004  > Trackback URL
You can bet your friggin hat that I'll be wearing this shirt on Saturday when I'm at the game. On a related note, look for me on the 6:00 news... I believe the headline will be "Drunken, obnoxious Red Sox fan gets killed by Yankees fans.".

Props to Kimberly for hooking me up with such a macktastic shirt!

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Spring is here!

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Ahh, don't you just love the first signs of Spring? The flowers are blooming, birds are chirping, trans-sexuals are out parading in their leotards. Seriously, either this guy lost the mother of all bets or he's got some sort of major chemical imbalance in his dome.

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Tuckerman Ravine

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The weather is looking really freakin sweet this weekend, you know what that means. Time for tuckermans! For those of you that don't know what Tuckerman Ravine is, let me break it down for you. It is the Eastern equivalent of western skiing. You have to hike to get to it, it sits on the southern side of Mount Washington and it has over 50 feet of snow in it until the end of June. People die there, it is lots of fun, the weather can change in a matter of seconds, it takes a 2 hour hike to get to there and if you get hurt your friends have to carry you the whole way down. Sounds like a blast, right? Well, you're damn right it is. Thousands of sick individuals like myself do it every season. I'm thinkin Sunday... I have the Sox / Yankees game on Saturday so that day is out of the question.

Bonus points to the individual that can name where this picture was taken.

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Springtime sucks, summer sucks...

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See, this is really depressing. This is a shot of the Matterhorn/Grizzly with Sunday River in the background. Notice that there is NO snow to be found, anywhere! This time of the year always gets me down, because I know that ski season is coming to a quick end. Since skiing is really my only sport it really means that I will have no major physical "fun" activity until November. Sure, I run, hike and occasionally rollerblade... But none of these are as much fun and good for you as skiing is. I guess it is time to take up another "fun" activity.... Hmm, I wonder what I will do...

- Bikini Inspector. Naah, that isn't physical enough. Or is it? Either way, I would be arrested.
- Stuntman. Wait, what am I thinking. I break extremely easily.
- Nascar Racer. Hold on, Nascar isn't a sport.

Anyone have any ideas for me? And, no... Professional alcoholic isn't a sport.

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Take a picture, it lasts longer.

Sunday, April 11, 2004  > Trackback URL
Damn, if I snapped this pic one second earlier you would have seen a major accident. They used the jaws of life to cut open this suburban like a freakin' can opener. It was sweeeeet! Sucks to be the other people on the side of the road, traffic is backed up wicked far. Then again, why would it matter for me? I'm at work, traffic would be sweet. It sure beats sitting behind my desk, or fixing computers for people. Mmmm, traffic.

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The Gnome

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Some of you may be well aware that chris and traci have "the gnome" in their apartment. He's quite troublesome and causes quite the ruckuss. Yes, he is related to the travelocity gnome and no he is nowhere near as nice and well mannored. So, it is Sunday night and what is the gnome doing... Well it looks like he's enjoying some vodka, some sort of tobacco based smoking appliance and some sort of mystery white powder. Damn, instead of giving you great travel deals he's killing brain cells, damaging his liver and snorting lines of blow. Sounds like he's got it all figured out.

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Shallow Gene Pool

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This my friends, is a portion of the Moulton side of the family. Yes, I am well aware that we need some chorine in the shallow gene pool. This, my friends is reason #1 why I need to be steralized / neutered. Happy easter everyone.

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