Well, today is my sisters birthday. Happy 18th Caitlin, and for those of you celebrating her non-jail-bait-ness can just go to hell, go to hell and die.

So, in keeping with the last minute tradition of gift giving I am going to need some help picking out some gifts for her birthday. Here are some of the ideas that were going through my head this morning when I realized that I must gift her with something...

Idea #1: A smoking monkey.
While the idea of having a pet that smokes down cigarettes is a fantastic idea, I think that the smoking monkey, let's call him Furious George, would ultimately kill Leroy. Since Leroy has some sort of seniority in the pet heirarchy of the Amirault roost I am going to say that Furious George is a long shot at this point.

Who am I kidding, I just wanted a picture of a smoking money in the blog.

Advantages: Can train monkey to do your unholy bidding.
Disadvantages: Monkey will die of lung cancer, will kill leroy, may throw feces at you.

Idea #2: Pope JP Ornaments.
Man, these would begreat. Imagine this set of three JP ornaments. The creepiest thing ever is the first pope ornament on the left. Look at the little girl that the pope is holding, she looks terrified!

Advantages: A bargain at $13.99! Won't kill Leroy.
Disadvantages: No kung fu grip, not poseable.

Idea #3: A wheel of cheese.
I wonder how you wrap a gift like this? While this gift doesn't serve any function like the other gifts it would be hilarious to unwrap and see the look on her face. It would be a pretty lame gift unless I sprinkled some cash on it. Then again, she could roll it around like a spare tire and that would be hilarious. Roll it down a big flight of stairs and watch it explode on something.

Advantage: I'd laugh my ass off giving someone a wheel of cheese.
Disadvantage: The gift sucks.

Idea #4: The Jesus Toothbrush
Caitlin loves unusual gifts and this is just about as unusual and Asian as it gets. Imagine a Jesus toothbrush, man that is money. It even comes with this hella cool plastic glass/container thing that you can drink liquids out of. Knowing Caitlin this would turn into her "crunk cup" for college and she'd drink cheap vodka out of it for her entire freshman year.

Advantage: This gift is so Asian it hurts.
Disadvantage: Cait already has a toothbrush, it is a Sonicare and it costs a fortune.

Well, I'm not really sure what else to get her. Any ideas will be greatly appreciated.
Post some comments you whores.

This entry was posted on Thursday, April 21, 2005 at Thursday, April 21, 2005. You can skip to the end and leave a response.