Miracle Water!
Ok, so you never know what you're going to find on television when you have over 300 channels of non stop entertainment. Here's a prime example of that, Church-TV. What a fantastic idea for those landmonsters that can't quite make it out of the house to worship their god and sing in the priaises of their faith. Why wake up early, throw on your poncho / mu-mu , schlep halfway across town to your place of worship when you can simply tune into channel 887 or whatever rediculous number it is to join in on services like this!
Look how entertaining and moving it is, there are all sorts of haggered people that can't walk, have leporacy, some sort of terminal illness or are plain out busted up individuals that somehow get miraculously healed when Reverend Joey Buttafuco over here places his hands on their forehead and urges the spirit to move the person. BAM, they're up, screaming, dancing, doing the freakin electric slide thanks to this ass-clown and the holy spirit. Man, if church was like this maybe more people would go, but then again church would be on the same educational and mental plane as the WWE (Formerly WWF). C'mon guys, you all know that it is fake. Spiritual healers, church on tv, the WWE...
But don't let that stop you from shelling out your $29.95 to get your own Miracle Water. Drink it down, brush your teeth in it, use it as some sort of IV drip, make ice cubes out of it and have them with a nice gin and tonic. It will be the best $29.99 you ever spent! Call now!
WHOAH, major update to the MIRACLE WATER entry!
Call the freakin phone number, it is working now. Reverend Bob's answering machine picks up and asks for your name, number, home address, etc. It sounds like he's going to send a Catholic hit squad after you. Creepy stuff. Seriously, call the number now if you want a good laugh or if you want a free sample of miralcle water. I'm going to have some shipped here to the office, I'll be blogging it once it arrives.
Call the number, if you get no response it is because the line is overloaded. Seriously, people are calling 24-7 for their miracle water.
800.390.7234
Now, once you get in your miracle water, here is a list of possible things you can do with it...
* Become the son of god.
* Fly like superman.
* Cure leporacy.
* Eat an entire sleeve of saltines without having any water.
* Tear a phone book in half.
* Cure cancer.
* Miraculously end world hunger.
* Mock ordinary water for its lameness.
Of course, what you do with Miracle Water is completely up to you. Please do not use Miracle Water for evil.
What are you guys going to do with your Miracle Water?
Look how entertaining and moving it is, there are all sorts of haggered people that can't walk, have leporacy, some sort of terminal illness or are plain out busted up individuals that somehow get miraculously healed when Reverend Joey Buttafuco over here places his hands on their forehead and urges the spirit to move the person. BAM, they're up, screaming, dancing, doing the freakin electric slide thanks to this ass-clown and the holy spirit. Man, if church was like this maybe more people would go, but then again church would be on the same educational and mental plane as the WWE (Formerly WWF). C'mon guys, you all know that it is fake. Spiritual healers, church on tv, the WWE...
But don't let that stop you from shelling out your $29.95 to get your own Miracle Water. Drink it down, brush your teeth in it, use it as some sort of IV drip, make ice cubes out of it and have them with a nice gin and tonic. It will be the best $29.99 you ever spent! Call now!
WHOAH, major update to the MIRACLE WATER entry!
Call the freakin phone number, it is working now. Reverend Bob's answering machine picks up and asks for your name, number, home address, etc. It sounds like he's going to send a Catholic hit squad after you. Creepy stuff. Seriously, call the number now if you want a good laugh or if you want a free sample of miralcle water. I'm going to have some shipped here to the office, I'll be blogging it once it arrives.
Call the number, if you get no response it is because the line is overloaded. Seriously, people are calling 24-7 for their miracle water.
800.390.7234
Now, once you get in your miracle water, here is a list of possible things you can do with it...
* Become the son of god.
* Fly like superman.
* Cure leporacy.
* Eat an entire sleeve of saltines without having any water.
* Tear a phone book in half.
* Cure cancer.
* Miraculously end world hunger.
* Mock ordinary water for its lameness.
Of course, what you do with Miracle Water is completely up to you. Please do not use Miracle Water for evil.
What are you guys going to do with your Miracle Water?
This entry was posted
on Tuesday, January 25, 2005 at Tuesday, January 25, 2005.
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