The Red Sox Suck

Thursday, August 31, 2006  > Trackback URL
Great e-mail sent to me today by T-Unit. I'm getting my new HDTV tomorrow, Comcast has already delivered my HDDVR and 450+ channel digital cable lineup and I already know that I don't want to see another Red Sox game this year... Yes, I'm that disgusted.

Roxbury MA (AP) -
A seven-year-old boy was at the center of a Boston courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his Parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulations requiring that family unity be maintained to the degree possible.

The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her.
When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried out that they also beat him.

After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him. After two recesses to check legal references and confer with child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Boston Red Sox, whom the boy firmly believes is not capable of beating anyone.

Blogger Giovanna : You know, I read this one already and it took me until the grandparent part to realize it.

Wells is gone BTW.    

Blogger T Bird : This has made my day. Ha!    

Blogger Dave Amirault : Yeah, you gotta love it when your mom sends you content for your blog. Ha, nice work, T-Unit.    

Anonymous Anonymous : all you need now is something from andrew and big ron and you've got a very amirault week... oh wait... ron refers to text messaging as e-mailing... guess he's out.    

Blogger Dave Amirault : Yeah, I know he still doesn't know how to respond to them. Ugh.    

Anonymous j j slinn : theres still a chance...not a very big one...its like tryin to light a cig in a huricane...it can be done...but dont bet onit...    

Last night's photo shoot.

 > Trackback URL
Myself, Mikey T, Matt and his roomates were feeling creative last night and decided to go on a night time photo shoot on the side of foothills parkway. Here is one of the images from that shoot. The streaks of images are from a passing tractor trailer.


Anonymous Anonymous : could it be? ....yes. it's as seen on tv mike t    

Blogger Dave Amirault : In the flesh, TV's Mike Thomas.    

Anonymous Anonymous : is that also Matt Ciufetti there with the castro hat on???    

Anonymous Anonymous : no offense, thats wicked gay. u might want to revaulate your social life.

-herbie    

Blogger Dave Amirault : Herbie, go back to mixing paint. Sorry if my social life doesn't involve sitting on my ass on a weeknight and hating myself. Oh snap.    

Anonymous Anonymous : revaulate ha.    

Blogger Dave Amirault : Ha ha ha, I didn't want to call that one out but yeah... Splendid.    

Mississippi, you're fat. And not with a "ph".

Tuesday, August 29, 2006  > Trackback URL
It is official, Colorado has the least amount of fat people... And you know what that means, less fat chicks! If "more cushion for the pushin" is your motto, head on down to Mississippi, where you have a 30% chance that the person you're poking is a land monster.



Anonymous Anonymous : WV's holding strong at #3, but to make up for it they DO have the highest incidence of Diabetes. It will not be outdone by those Mississippians!
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Die Mallrat

 > Trackback URL
The Warwick Mall now has a new policy, if there are more than four of you together a rabid pack of hungry pitbulls will emerge from behind the pretzel stand and consume one or more members of your party in order to thin the numbers down to the designated accpted hangout level of four.

If the dogs are occupied several middle aged, out of shape Warwick Mall security guards will tazer members of your party until their untimely death... Thus, making your shopping party four or less members.

MMP reminds you to always shop safely at the Warwick Mall and to leave your extra friends at home. The mall is a place of business, not a hangout... However, it is a place to have your unpopular friends maimed and murdred.

Thanks to Cait for pointing this lovely item out.

Blogger T Bird : And the Warwick Mall has found another reason to suck ass.    

Anonymous Anonymous : That's about the most rediculous thing I've ever heard. Who wants to get a huge group together to go to the mall in a pack of say... oh, 5+.... you know, just to spite The Man. And I know what you're thinking: Yes, we can wear speedos and one pieces.    

Blogger Dave Amirault : In jr high and high school all the loser punk kids would hang out at the mall and just sit around.

I welcome the opportunity to see them get tazed.    

Blogger T Bird : Hey now, there's nothing wrong with being a mallrat before having a driver's license.    

Anonymous Anonymous : did those kids pick on you dave?    

I've been moving, bite me.

Monday, August 28, 2006  > Trackback URL
Waah waaah waah, Dave hasn't updated MMP in a few days. Well, I've been moving (for the 3rd time this year) and didn't have time to update the blog since all my worldly belongings were in a state of flux.

I'm 90% moved into the new pad, still have a few misc. items to set up, but for the most part I'm there. Expect some sort of update at some point soon.

Anonymous Anonymous : excuses are for whiny bitches who drink malt fruit beverages.

are you one of these individuals digi?    

Blogger T Bird : You know he is.    

Blogger Dave Amirault : You all know I don't drink fruit flavored malt beverages. Thats for damn sure.    

Bon Voyage, Bitch

Wednesday, August 23, 2006  > Trackback URL
Triple T goes on vacation and all hell breaks loose. But don't worry, just because Triple T's on vacation it doesn't mean he's out to lunch.


More to come tomorrow...

Tuesday, August 22, 2006  > Trackback URL
Haven't had time to update, worked a 14 hour day. Have a major presentation tomorrow. I've got some funny stuff coming to MMP, I just haven't had time to post it. So, in other words... Stay Tuned.

For the time being, please enjoy one of the greatest Family Guy clips of all time. I had no idea that the Batman symbol was a vowel or consonant.


Anonymous jeff jeff slinn : the Batman symbol...fuckin hilarious    

The Rizzler, at dinner time.

Saturday, August 19, 2006  > Trackback URL
So, most MMP regulars know that my parents have a cat named Leroy. Leroy isn't just any ordinary cat, he thinks he is a member of the family and also a card carrying member of the Wu-Tang Clan... Yes folks, he's just that gangsta.

The Amirault family dining table carries a strict seating code, every member of the family has their nightly seat. It's been that way since the dawn of time... Leroy thinks that system is a load of bullshit. So, here he is snaking my sisters seat at the table, ready and willing to eat whatever T-Unit puts in front of his whiskers. Yes, Leroy eats people food.

Scary thing is folks, the cat really eats people food at the dinner table.


Blogger Mike : That looks like Lulu. But I'm certain its not, because I ate Lulu.    

Anonymous Anonymous : what...no dinner cocktail for the cat? have a little respect for our fellow friend the animal

kitty wants a gin and tonic

-Anthony    

Anonymous Lynnie : Did Lulu and Leroy mate yet? I think they would have some pretty wild gansta negro gatos together...Call me sometime and we can arrange a kitty play date and I'll even clip Lucifers nails before hand so she doesn't kill Leroy.    

Draft Day

Thursday, August 17, 2006  > Trackback URL
The Triple T saga continues with the second installment in the greatest commercial series ever, Draft Day. Felcher & Son's drafts a new office linebacker, Courtney Cate. Let's just say there is an initial friction between Triple T and Courtney before they eventually find they're even more destructive when they work together.

The hits in this movie are devastating.


Freeskier.TV Production Evening

Wednesday, August 16, 2006  > Trackback URL
Greetings from 4:02 AM. Mike and I have been working on Freeskier.TV for the entire evening. We've drank half a case of RedBull, several frothy ales and consumed an entire pasta dinner. Please note the insane amount of technology on this desk. Quad G5 with 4 feet of monitors plus my MacBookPro and the external monitor.

Nerd power. Freeskier.TV, coming soon. Bitches.


Anonymous Anonymous : Freeskier.TV, powered by KeyLight and OSX.    

Blogger Ryan Amirault : Dave Amirault is dorktacular.com    

Anonymous Anonymous : nice shirt mikey    

Terry Tate : Office Linebacker

Tuesday, August 15, 2006  > Trackback URL
Traci reminded me the other day of Triple T, Terrible Terry Tate the office linebacker. This is perhaps the greatest single advertising campaign ever to grace television. Here's the premice, Terry Tate is the Office Linebacker, he enforces office policy. You polish off the last of the coffee and don't make another pot and he'll tackle you into the ground.

Thanks to Triple T, office productivity at Felcher & Sons is up 46%. Now that is an impressive statistic. Now, if only we had Triple T at Freeskier, we'd crank issues out like crazy.

I'll be showing the entire series this week, I've converted them to flash for your viewing pleasure. Expect some delightful Triple T updates and remember, sometimes it's all about initmidation... You know, MIND GAMES.



Blogger T Bird : Oh hell yeah. It's about time you put this up! You're takin' a ride on the pain train! Woo woo!

Man, I love Terry Tate. I celebrate the entire Terry Tate collection.    

Thug Life

Sunday, August 13, 2006  > Trackback URL
Shawn French's 21st birthday last night. Went out with Harvey, Jay, the Olenicks and other assorted company for the "funeral party". We were all dressed in black, since at the end of the night Shawn would probably die from the amount of alcohol we were going to make him consume.

When the dust settled, Shawn woke up in an vacant apartment in the complex he lives at, on the floor.

Mission accomplished.


White Trash, in Boulder?

Saturday, August 12, 2006  > Trackback URL
While driving back from lunch yesterday I witnessed something horrifying... Three pieces of white trash in an El Camino that doesn't have a hood. They were all packed in there, talk about 10 pounds of shit in an 8 pound bag, drinking 7-11 Big Gulps. This was my first spotting of official white trash in Boulder. I've been here around 8 months now and I'm really impressed that this was my first sighting. Please note the fact that their El Camino didn't even have a hood, wow.


Anonymous Anonymous : Taken alone...a 7-11 Big Gult and an El Camino are wonderful things.

They were probably transplants from Denver

-Anthony    

Anonymous Anonymous : Nice catch.

-brendo    

Anonymous Chris V : Actually my friend, those aren't 7-11 Big Gulps. Those are SOLO cups and it's probably full of coffee brandy and milk. I've lived around white trash long enough to know they only drink 2 things pbr and coffee brandy & milk.    

Anonymous Anonymous : don't forget grape drink, orange drink, and all the other k-mart blue light specials    

Blogger Dave Amirault : This is the type of people that are too poor for "juice", nothing but "drink" for these fellas.    

Blogger T Bird : Hey now, don't insult the drink. Purple (or "grape" as some fancy people call it) drink and vodka is a fine combination.    

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Anonymous Anonymous : Hello. Prompt how to get acquainted with the girl it to me to like. But does not know about it
I have read through one history
Each of you has your personal story; it is your history. Keeping a diary or writing your feelings in a special notebook is a wonderful way to learn how to think and write about who you are -- to develop your own identity and voice.

People of all ages are able to do this. Your own history is special because of your circumstances: your cultural, racial, religious or ethnic background. Your story is also part of human history, a part of the story of the dignity and worth of all human beings. By putting opinions and thoughts into words, you, too, can give voice to your inner self and strivings.

A long entry by Anne Frank on April 5, 1944, written after more than a year and a half of hiding from the Nazis, describes the range of emotions 14-year-old Anne is experiencing:

". . . but the moment I was alone I knew I was going to cry my eyes out. I slid to the floor in my nightgown and began by saying my prayers, very fervently. Then I drew my knees to my chest, lay my head on my arms and cried, all huddled up on the bare floor. A loud sob brought me back down to earth, and I choked back my tears, since I didn't want anyone next door to hear me . . .

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"When I write I can shake off all my cares. My sorrow disappears, my spirits are revived! But, and that's a big question, will I ever be able to write something great, will I ever become a journalist or a writer? I hope so, oh, I hope so very much, because writing allows me to record everything, all my thoughts, ideals and fantasies.

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I want to be an illegal alien!

Friday, August 11, 2006  > Trackback URL
I want to be an illegal alien... For tax purposes, of course. This letter comes from Maryland resident who petitioned his senator for information about how to become an illegal alien so he could save money on taxes. Simply stunning.

June 7, 2006

The Honorable Paul S. Sarbanes
309 Hart Senate Office Building
Washington DC 20510

Dear Senator Sarbanes:

As a native Marylander and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the Immigration and Naturalization Service in an effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.

My reasons for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to illegal alien stem from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill's pro visions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, what I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five years.

I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it out. Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.

Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications.

If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illeg al (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be most appreciative. Thank you for your assistance.

Your Loyal Constituent,
Pete McGlaughlin


Seriously, think about it. The guy has a point. As citizens we're getting screwed. I'm not going to get into the whole immigration issue (someone has to do the shit jobs Americans don't want to do) since it is a hot topic that just makes me look ignorant and racist.

Anonymous Anonymous : ill play the race card for a second then

Its a damn sad day when an American Citizen is 2nd rate to border hoppers. To become a citizen from Mexico..there should be a us "indentured servant" worker program. Basically the govt. owns their ass for 3 years to make sure their "worthy" of living here

name omitted haha    

Anonymous Anonymous : 1. Anyone who receives a paycheck, legal or illegal, pays taxes. Those paying taxes with
a made-up SSN can't get refunds and don't collect social security.
2. Being an illegal alien does not provide you with preferential treatment by college admissions offices.    

Ha, Catholicism.

 > Trackback URL
Best church sign ever. Jeez-Its, fantastic.


Blogger T Bird : I would if Jeez-its taste like jizz. Sounds like they would.

Gross.

Man, I need to find a hobby or something. I'm spending waaaaay too much time on MMP and playing around with these comment thingies.    

Blogger Dave Amirault : Yeah, the comment system is pretty sweet. I'm digging all the stuff people are leaving.    

Anonymous Anonymous : I guess Catholicism has to resort to new marketing plans after that whole child touching incident

If my local church starts handing out free booze, I just might become a regular on the weekends

-Anthony    

T-Unit, she's an OG.

Thursday, August 10, 2006  > Trackback URL
So, as most of you are aware... I was the IT guy for the family empire. Being the IT guy means that you have knowldge about all the systems in the office, including the phone system. Caitlin and I nicknamed my mom Trish, T-Unit. Why, because it is one of the most dope-ass, street-cred, OG names around. So, why not extend her newfound bad-ass nickname to the professional world. Whenever anyone would call her in the office their phone would read "T-Unit". Outstanding.

Everyone wish T-Unit a happy birthday. I'd list her age here, but I'm not ready for the electronic reprocussions of that. Namely, e-mails telling me how much I suck. Let's just say she's old enough to by alcohol and get drive rental cars.



Blogger Austin : Hahaha..

ohhh man. Priceless.    

Blogger T Bird : Aw, I wanna be T-Unit.    

Mel-Mayhem

Tuesday, August 08, 2006  > Trackback URL
I love the mass media, but not as much as I love The Daily Show. Here, Jon Stewart pokes fun at the mass media's coverage of Mel Gibson's anti-semitic drunk driving blitzkrieg media circus. I only hope that one day I can be famous and drunk enough to warrant this type of mass media coverage.



Blogger T Bird : That's a fine way to start my Friday morning.

Give me back my son!    

Life is a balancing act.

 > Trackback URL
I know MMP has been rather morbid recently. I'll try to make it a bit more upbeat... Why stress when you've got Jeager? More to come tomorrow.

And in pre-response to your comments... Yes, I am eating.


Blogger T Bird : Jager is so nasty...unless it's in a Red Headed Slut, then it's ok.

Hopefully you're eating more than pringles and cheese in a can...    

Blogger Giovanna : When you do eventually get east you come for dinner at our house and I will cook a huge meal for you and you can make my kids nuts.    

Anonymous Anonymous : spelt jager wrong dopey    

Anonymous Anonymous : how are your tiny arms lifting that bottle? it must be empty. in the words of t-unit- go eat some bologna!    

Blogger Dave Amirault : G, I'll let you know when I'm in the area. I'd love to eat a fantastic meal, get your kids hyped up on sugar and then leave you to deal with them. Hahaha.

And anyone that knows lines quoted by T-Unit knows that I don't eat bologna. Turkey and ham... Mmmmm, turkey.

I'm going to make a turkey sangwich.    

Blogger Bernier : You know what would make MMP less morbid? Updating your Bernier World link to the new URL...www.thelifeofbernier.blogspot.com    

Anonymous jeff jeff slinn : ummm your not balencing...your just holding it...lets see that bottle up side down...


thats talent    

Coming Home Next Month

Monday, August 07, 2006  > Trackback URL
I have Ford Motor Company to thank for me NOT coming home for Labor day. The repairs to my car bit into my travel budget and I will not be coming home. Actually, to be exact, I won't be doing much of anything until I can recoup the money that the repair cost. So, if you need me I'll be doing nothing for the next month. Rad.

That is all.

Blogger Dave Amirault : Car update, I'm $511 poorer. Thanks Ford. You suck.    

Anonymous Anonymous : stop yer bitching and get your ass home. remember amazingly enough you are the one who chose to work for less $$    

Not a good weekend.

Sunday, August 06, 2006  > Trackback URL
My week is going to suck. I have to have my car towed to the dealership tomorrow to get the ignition cylinder replaced for the 2nd time. It went last year with my key stuck in it. Now, instead of getting the key stuck inside it simply doesn't let the key turn. I'm going to loose it at the dealership tomorrow. I just found out that Ford replaced the part with the exact same faulty part instead of using the new re-designed part that doesn't have the defect. There is no way I'm going to pay for their stupidity.

Other than that my weekend was low key. I went up to Winter Park to see Big Ry's bike race that he couldn't partake in because of a broken crankset. I went to see Talladaga Nights last night and it was great. I highly suggest you see it.

I've got to make some enormous decisions by tomorrow and then figure out where the hell I'm going to live. Coupled with the bullshit related to my car and finding new housing I really don't have time for anything else. Maybe something funny will happen tomorrow that I can post about... However, if I were you I wouldn't be holding my breath.

Anonymous Anonymous : welcome to my world. I just had my driver side window clip replaced for the fourth time last thurs. Nothing like having your window fall into your door while driving to almost make you drive into a ditch out of fear

i love vw

-Anthony    

Anonymous Anonymous : At least you're not about to get married.    

Blogger Dave Amirault : I wouldn't be that stupid... That post had to be by Jen or John. Ha.    

Blogger T Bird : My car is now known as the green $3000 paper weight, so I wouldn't bitch too much. It'll cost over $1500 to fix the green machine, so it's officially dead to me.

Damn VW.    

Blogger Dave Amirault : I agree, cars suck major ass.    

Anonymous Anonymous : Try DJAK    

Anonymous Anonymous : Yo Dave! HEy if ur looking for a place to stay for like a month or something, my friend hanna is moving to a place in the denver/boulder area. She's moving in to a place like august 14 - 21. So if ur interested give me a shout and I can hook you guys up! Let me know! Lata boy!

-H

ps-I sold out to corporate and now work at ski market, your talking to the new apparell manager for Shrewsbury, MA. WHoopee! Ah. whatev at least the benefits arent' bad. Holla!    

Health Food

Friday, August 04, 2006  > Trackback URL
Boulder is all about eating healthy. That's all well and good however sometimes you just need to eat something that just is choc full of saturated fat and salt. Last night I was feeling a little anti-Boulder and whipped up this delicious snack. Introducing the greatest junk food ever, Pringles topped with Kraft Easy Cheese. Simply put, nothing involved with this snack has any nutritional value or is in any way, shape, or form good for you.

Best man-snack ever. If only there was some football on. America, FUCK YEAH.


Anonymous Anonymous : Nice, but did you read this?

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/lax/182862349.html    

Blogger T Bird : I think I just threw up in my mouth.    

Blogger T Bird : Wow, just read that craigslist post. I really just threw up in my mouth now.    

Anonymous Ian : That's my fucking Easy Cheese.    

Blogger Dave Amirault : Ian, why do you have Easy Cheese? Seriously. I thought you were classier than that. Cupcake, well maybe she would have cheese in an aerosol can. You, I had higher expectations man. At least cheese that had to be either cut or spread.    

Best Concert Ever.

Thursday, August 03, 2006  > Trackback URL
I just got my tickets to the greatest concert ever. I don't know about you, but I think it is totally worth $895.00 to see Vanilla Ice and Snow. Note the ticket, VIP SEATING. Aww yeah. I can't wait for classics like "Ninja Rap" and "Informer".



















Create your own fake concert ticket and submit it to us, mmp at ozskier.com . Best ones will be featured in a post. Use the concert ticket generator to save on all that crazy photoshop time.

Anonymous Anonymous : Sick Show........    

Blogger T Bird : I sent in my ticket...god help you.    

Bueller, Bueller...

 > Trackback URL
We've got TJ Schiller in town this week and we wanted to show him a good time. Since the last pro skier we hosted got us wasted for 4 straight days, our livers were shot. Seeing how TJ isn't 21 yet we were scouring the internet for somewhat cool things to do in the greater Denver metro area on a Wednesday.

Jackpot, the Red Rocks Ampitheatre has their "Moves on the Rocks" showings and this week it was one of the best movies of all time... Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Cinematic gold circa 1986. So, a few of us from Freeskier piled up in a couple of cars and headed off to Red Rocks to partake in one of the finest movies ever produced. Hands down, Red Rocks has to be one of the best places on Earth to watch a movie, here's why...
  1. $8 to see a movie! Are you kidding me, that's freakin' awesome. Sure they aren't first run movies, but they're showing Old School, Top Gun and other classics!
  2. Look at that freakin' view. I highly doubt that your local cineplex can match that.
  3. Stadium seating has nothing on ampitheatre seating. No more "down in front" since the next row is a few feet below you already.
  4. They serve beer. Enough said.
  5. Did you happen to see that view?

Yes, I took that photo. Had the camera gear on me since we were doing a photo shoot there earlier in the evening.

Blogger Dave Amirault : I've got more pictures from Red Rocks that I'll post at some point tomorrow for download. They came out pretty sweet. The Denver-metro skyline looks awesome at night from up there.    

Blogger T Bird : That is the coolest thing ever. I might go to Colorado just to see a movie at Red Rocks now.    

Anonymous Anonymous : tell tj i said hi!!

-amanda    

Blogger Dave Amirault : Amanda, you're a regular here. Get a damn login.    

Anonymous Anonymous : i'm more of a regular when i'm drunk and its 4am or later...which is too often lately    

Ryan: "You're a Jerk!"

Wednesday, August 02, 2006  > Trackback URL
Fact: My cousin Ryan does not drink. That is lame.

This past weekend, Ryan decided to hang with his older cousin (me) and run with the big dogs. We had a great dinner at The Rio which included some margaritas and then a trip to a local rooftop bar that serves drinks till 1:45.

After Big Ry's Mexican dinner and high-octane margarita we departed to K's China and proceeded to down drink after drink. Booze was flowing like water and Ry was getting pretty tipsy. The bartenders called last call so we snagged one last drink and headed back to our table. 3 minutes after last call this asshole bouncer stood up on the table next to us and started screaming at the crowd. Here is how the conversation goes.
Asshole: Get the fuck out. We're closed.
Asshole: You heard me, get the fuck out.
Ryan: (To Me)What the hell is wrong with this guy?
Me: I guess he really wants people to leave.
Ryan: (To Me) It's only 1:40, we have 20 more minutes!
Me: (Checks Watch) Yeah, what the hell is going on?
Asshole: (To Ryan and I) Did you not mother-fucking hear me, I said it is time to go.
Ryan: (To Bouncer) It's ok man, we're just going to finish up our drinks and we'll be on our way.
Asshole: No, I said leave now.
Ryan: We just got these drinks at last call, which was 3 minutes ago. We'll drink them as fast as we can and be on our way. 3-4 minutes tops.
Asshole: (To Ryan) Asshole, if you don't get up right now I'm going to carry you the fuck out of here.
Ryan: You know what buddy, YOU'RE A JERK!
Asshole: (Stares Ryan down for 3-4 seconds, then looks directly at me)
Me: Can I help you?
Asshole: (Repeats) If you don't get up right now I'm going to carry you out of here.
Me: Buddy, go right ahead. (I stand up, put my drink down, walk up to the jackass and put my arms out.)
Needless to say, the asshole bouncer picked me up and carried me down two flights of stairs to get me out of the bar. Seeing how I found this highly comical and he picked me up like a sack of potatoes I started to pretend to jog in place while he was carrying me, I performed swimming motions and alerted others in the bar that they were giving complimentary escorts that evening.

When the shithead finally got me to the end of the 2nd set of stairs and placed me down I commented "Thanks for the ride, man-horse" and went on my merry way. Yes, I was carried out of the bar due to my cousin's mouth and the bouncers inability to carry him out. Fantastic. Being 115 pounds has its advantage.

What I find most entertaining is my cousin's choice of words in his moment of belligerence... "You're a JERK" just doesn't quite have the same ring as some other choice sayings that I would have let fly.

Ryan, after having a few drinks.

Anonymous Anonymous : Man-horse... Ha ha ha, way to bring the American Dad quote up. You're lucky he didn't throw you when you got to the end of those stairs.    

Anonymous Anonymous : i need you to come get me drunk man    

Blogger T Bird : I totally would've dropkicked you down the stairs.    

Blogger Dave Amirault : That's assault, sistah.    

Blogger Bernier : If only your cousin could have taken a picture of you being carried downstairs by a man horse...    

Blogger Dave Amirault : I know, he's got to get on that next time. Maybe this weekend we can re-enact the events and he can be there with my decent camera.    

Anonymous Anonymous : if only you didn't weigh the same as parker...who by the way would drink both of our asses under the table...

-amanda    

New MMP Feature: Live Comments & Trackback

 > Trackback URL
What was I thinking?
MMP now has live commenting. You see a post you like or want to chime in on, go right ahead, they'll show up right under my post in the new word bubble field. No login is required, however if you're an MMP regular you should take the two minutes to create a login. The right hand side of the page also displays the recent comments, so you guys can see who has been commenting the most on recent posts. So feel free to throw in your two cents on anything.

I'd love to hear what you guys think of Mel.

Ohh yeah, trackback URL's are simply for those of you that would like to link to individual blog posts. So, instead of linking to www.ozskier.com, www.mischiefmayhemandpornography.com, www.broverload.com, www.dorktacular.com or www.daveamirault.com you can use the direct link of the post which is the permanent address. Much easier for you blog linking geeks.

Enjoy the new features. There are a few more to come. Details to come soon.

Anonymous Anonymous : what what    

Blogger Dave Amirault : Yes, what what indeed.    

Blogger T Bird : This is sorta like a message board but much much worse. I fear for the future.    

Anonymous Anonymous : Great, just what I need. Another reason to spend more time here. My work is going to ban this place.    

Anonymous Anonymous : thank fucking god. the other method sucked...waiting for your pussy ass to approve shit.

-amanda    

Blogger T Bird : Haha, hear hear, Amanda!    

Blogger Dave Amirault : Somebody drank their haterade today. Jeez. Beats the pants off the comment system on your website. Oh wait...    

Blogger T Bird : Oooo burn.    

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I don't hate Jews!

Tuesday, August 01, 2006  > Trackback URL
File this one under "sure, buddy".
Mel Gibson gets pulled over under suspicion of DUI. Turns out, he was plastered (0.12 BAC), tooling around town in his car. That isn't the interesting portion of the story. Turns out when good ol' Mel gets wasted his anti-semitism runs rampant and his true colors show. Here's a lil excerpt from what happened when the cops pulled his jew-hating ass over...
During his arrest, Gibson asked the arresting deputy whether he was a Jew and said, "Fucking Jews. The Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world," according to a sheriff's report obtained by the entertainment Web site TMZ.com.



Not a surprise from a man who created a movie about Jesus getting killed. By the way, certain anti-semite groups went insane when he released that movie due to his portrayal of the jews. I don't exactly understand why he started out with all the anti-Semitic rhetoric when he got pulled over. The only explanation is that he was pulled over by Jesus Christ Super-Cop. Just imagine the sight of Jesus Christ brandishing a gun and a badge, that is enough to make any seasoned anti-Semite wack job start spitting some hate rhetoric...

Ohh yeah, when he was in the station he called a female officer "sugar tits". You stay classy, Mel Gibson.

Watch: Jesus Christ SUPERCOP

















It is official, this post is sending me to hell.

Anonymous Anonymous : Ha ha ha, Jesus Mel. Oh wait, there I go again with the Jesus comment.    

Anonymous SATIN : there is no god...no virgin mary...religion is dumb.    

Blogger Dave Amirault : What's next, no Santa, no Easter Bunny?    

Blogger T Bird : Is Mel Gibson gonna have to smack a Jew?    

Anonymous Anonymous : Traci, jew is such an awful word. You went to a Catholic high school, you know they're refered to as "Christ Killers". Jeez.    

Blogger T Bird : Hey, Anonymous, I prefer to call them "Liars". We all know that Hoaxacaust didn't happen.


I am so going to hell.    

Anonymous Anonymous : "Hoaxacaust". Wow. The hate is strong in young Traci.    

Blogger T Bird : Yeah, my therapist tells me I should learn to love more people. But there's only so much sex a girl can handle.    

Anonymous Anonymous : damn.    

Anonymous Kickball Superstar : Oh Dave - love the Jesus super cop - have you been to www.landoverbaptist.com???? Gotta check it out!

so where are the rockstar kickball photos!    

Yeah, I'm not busy at all.

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Just as a heads up, we made some major moves this week at Storm Mountain Puiblishing. Plain and simple, we bought SNOWBOARD Magazine. That means that we've now got Ski Time Magazine, Freeskier Magazine and Snowboard Magazine. Now I've got to somehow integrate all our all digital properties together and put together some sort of long range plan. Not busy at all...

Here's the official release.







Boulder, CO (July 31, 2006) - Storm Mountain Publishing Company (SMP), parent of FREESKIER magazine, has entered into a long-term partnership agreement with Global United Publishing’s SNOWBOARD magazine. It was announced today by SMP President & CEO Bradford Fayfield.

The new arrangement comes just weeks after SNOWBOARD’s Publisher Mark Sullivan announced that his company would not be publishing its September issue due to financial constraints. The news spurred widespread discussion within the snowboarding industry and abroad.

“This is an incredibly exciting opportunity for SNOWBOARD and FREESKIER,” said Fayfield. “As independent publishers, Mark and I have faced similar challenges competing against the corporate media giants. This union will allow us to work together to level the playing field and take our respective titles to entirely new levels.”

Sullivan and the staff at SNOWBOARD are enthused about the partnership:

“We had several interested parties, and ultimately we decided that joining forces with Storm Mountain Publishing and its team was the best way to go,” said Sullivan. “Our titles complement one another perfectly, and having the infrastructure and resources of a successful, independent publisher will help us reach the next level. Storm Mountain Publishing also shares our philosophy of contributing to the health and long-term growth of our respective sports.”

The parties expect to finalize the partnership within the next 30 days. More detailed information about the transaction will be forthcoming.
Storm Mountain Publishing Company was founded in 1997 by Bradford Fayfield and publishes FREESKIER magazine, Freeskier.com, Fantasy Freeride League, SKI TIME magazine and Skitimemag.com

For additional information contact the following SMP employees:

Bradford Fayfield (bradford@freeskier.com) 303-449-5100 x101

Christopher Jerard (cj@freeskier.com) 303-449-5100 x105

Anonymous Anonymous : Damn SMP is legit now.    

Anonymous Anonymous : Hats off to Freeskier for stepping in to make sure that a sweet magazine like Snowboard can keep going.