Die Mallrat

The Warwick Mall now has a new policy, if there are more than four of you together a rabid pack of hungry pitbulls will emerge from behind the pretzel stand and consume one or more members of your party in order to thin the numbers down to the designated accpted hangout level of four.

If the dogs are occupied several middle aged, out of shape Warwick Mall security guards will tazer members of your party until their untimely death... Thus, making your shopping party four or less members.

MMP reminds you to always shop safely at the Warwick Mall and to leave your extra friends at home. The mall is a place of business, not a hangout... However, it is a place to have your unpopular friends maimed and murdred.

Thanks to Cait for pointing this lovely item out.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, August 29, 2006 at Tuesday, August 29, 2006. You can skip to the end and leave a response.

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12:39 PM

That's about the most rediculous thing I've ever heard. Who wants to get a huge group together to go to the mall in a pack of say... oh, 5+.... you know, just to spite The Man. And I know what you're thinking: Yes, we can wear speedos and one pieces.    



4:26 PM

In jr high and high school all the loser punk kids would hang out at the mall and just sit around.

I welcome the opportunity to see them get tazed.    



1:59 AM

Hey now, there's nothing wrong with being a mallrat before having a driver's license.    



3:55 PM

did those kids pick on you dave?    



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