Finally, my time has come...

Thursday, June 30, 2005  > Trackback URL

All shall bow down and repent, for our time has come.

Hail to the geeks! You know you can't live without our advances in technology!!! Mwaaa ha ha ha ha, ladies.... Start lining up.

[Wakes up from dream.]




Urinal advise.

Wednesday, June 29, 2005  > Trackback URL

Thanks for the tip, urinal pad. Do you think anyone has remembered that phone number?

Ohh yeah, $3.00 off any item in the MMP Online Store until July 14th. Details are at the store.


New items in the MMP Online Store.

 > Trackback URL
There are some new items in the MMP Online Store today for your retail enjoyment. Prices start at a meager $13.99. Spend some of that hard earned cash and continue to support all that MMP does to keep you entertained throught your miserable online existance.


"Trucker Hats SUCK" trucker hat & sticker



'You Got Served" mens and womens tees



"go topless" mens & womens tees



'Something funny meow?" mens and womens tees



"up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, b, a, select, start"
mens and womens tees


Buy some stuff, tell a friend... I'll have a discount coupon code tomorrow.

Blogger Dave Amirault : Don't worry, for using the idea each sale of that item you earn $10 MMP bucks* to be redeemed in the MMP online store!

See, isn't that sweet!?!


*MMP bucks will not be honored.    

Anonymous Anonymous : Hey - wasn't it up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, start? Without select?

It is so sad that I remember this.    

Freshly Painted Calipers

Tuesday, June 28, 2005  > Trackback URL

The pimpification of the Focus continues. She's now got painted brake calipers. Looks real sweet. Here's what my mom had to say about it...

T-Unit: Did you do something to your brakes?
Me: Yeah, they're red now.
T-Unit: That looks cool, Rob's Porsche has that. I like it.
Me: I'm slowly making this $9,000 car into a Porsche.
T-Unit: Well, at least you didn't pay $90,000 like he did.




Gary the No-Trash Cougar

 > Trackback URL
Gary the No-Trash Cougar is a mascot that Peter invented in order to teach children to throw their trash away properly. He was intended to be a "loveable" mascot for the children, but rather was intensely hostile firing his gun in the air and yelling at the children. His motto is "Give a larbage; Throw out your garbage!"


[There, isn't it all better when we pitch in?]

Anonymous Anonymous : i'm glad my amazing phone wallpaper inspired you last night. now burn me garden state :o)    

Plaid shorts rock.

Monday, June 27, 2005  > Trackback URL

This summer is all about plaid shorts. Walsh and i went to the mall on sunday simply to get these babies. You know you want a pair. C'mon , what else would you wear for the porch boozin. This fashion tip brought to you by mmp.

Ohh yeah, for those of you that are geeks... We're starting the MMP RSS feed tomorrow. If you don't know what an RSS feed is, wait til' tomorrow and I'll explain it all out for ya.


Blogger Dave Amirault : Yo dude, you were in Chicago! Totally not our fault.    

Only in Maine...

Sunday, June 26, 2005  > Trackback URL

Only in Maine will you see this. A dead deer on the hood of a moving Jeep.

This outrageous photo was courteous of Jan. She was chillin with us yesterday on the porch at Walsh & Rob's. It was a pleasure to make her acquaintance. I guess she's cool... For a Sugarloafer.


[You think his wipers still work?]


Let the mobile blogging begin.

 > Trackback URL

Ok, so why are we drinking outside when it is 100+ degrees out and so humid you can stick to the walls? Ohh right, Walsh & Rob don't have air conditioning. However, they do have cold beer, a flat panel tv and a 3rd floor porch in beantown.


[Nice shades, Walsh.]


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Rob's on assignment in Chi-Town.

Saturday, June 25, 2005  > Trackback URL

Rob is on assignment this weekend in Chi-Town for the "Taste of Chicago" and he's been taking some very interesting blog shots for us. Take a look at this doozer, it comes from some sort of gay pride parade they were having in conjunction with all the other festivities.


[Yep, she's got wood.]


Anonymous Anonymous : I've got some videos you're gonna wanna post too... I did a lot of pointing & laughing at that thing.    

MMP-TV:Andrew explains differences between Verizon & Nextel

Friday, June 24, 2005  > Trackback URL
And now, the first ever video blog post from the new phone! Our marketing gurus are calling it "MMP-TV", ingenious, I know.

In this episode, Andrew explains the subtle differences in durability between Nextel & Verizon cellular telephones. He does a live demonstration for you with regards to their ability to withstand intertia, aka, he chucks his Nextel across the room and it somehow manages to be perfectly fine.

Quicktime required, 170kb, 15 seconds.

>> Play video

Coming soon, live updates.

Thursday, June 23, 2005  > Trackback URL
Remember the good ol' days when I would update the blog on the fly. I would just send a wacked out picture off my cameraphone and it would appear in MMP. Well, those days are coming back. So that means I'm going to be able to update with pro shots from my digital slr, the instant gratification from my new cellphone and some of the wildest content from the web that I can find.

The good ol' days of instant drunken shots are coming back. All thanks to the new Motorola v710 and Verizon.


Anonymous Anonymous : something sure changed from "screw you Verizon" earlier today. nice new phone, looks like.    

Blogger Dave Amirault : Wait til you see the bluetooth headset ;-)    

Family Guy Quote of the Day.

 > Trackback URL
This one comes from Tracy...
“I walked into the kitchen and sat down at the table. I looked with a grimace at the questionable meal Lois had placed in front of me. Of course I'd never tell her how disgusted I was with her cooking, but somehow I think she knew. Lois had always been full of energy and life, but lately I had begun to grow more aware of her aging. The bright, exuberant eyes that I had fallen in love with were now beginning to grow dull and listless with the long fatigue of a weary life.”



Lois : The safety word is banana.
Peter : Love you.
[Lois kicks Peter down to the bed.]

Anonymous Anonymous : It's "safety word" jackass!    

Office Demotivational Posters

Wednesday, June 22, 2005  > Trackback URL
Most of you have seen those very cheezy office motivational posters that say stupid crap that is supposed to motivate you. Well, feast your peepers on these babies. They're office demotivational images meant to break the balls of the legit ones. Scroll down, I've got a link in there to the rest of them.



Take a look at the rest of these glorious posters. I've already ordered three...

Charlie and I go to a BoSox game.

Monday, June 20, 2005  > Trackback URL
Charlie and I went to a BoSox game on Saturday night and got a lil' tipsy. Now, when I say "lil' tipsy" that's code for, I got freakin trashed, then sobered up slightly, then drank more, then sobered up again to drive home. It really was a yo-yo effect.

So let's flash back. Charlie and I meet at The Avenue, a sweet bar near Fenway that has $1 Bud and 25 cent wings. It just so happens that they also have free parking and are on the green line, so you can park for free, drink and eat yourself retarded for around $12 bucks and then hop on the green line for a nice 5-10 minute train ride to Fenway. Not too shabby.

So Chuck$ and I go to the game, have a few chardonnays there, watch Wakefield have a decent game and get 0 run support and then we make our way to the Uno in Kenmore square. It just so happened that Chuck had a $25 gift card for Uno's and they were having $2 Bass. Do the math, Chuck just ended up leaving the gift card. Ha. A good time was had by all.


[Chuck on Landsdowne Street before the game.]


[What my vision was like after drinking for a good 6 hours straight.]

Anonymous Anonymous : I friggin love the Ave! As a matter of fact, I think I'll go there now...    

Anonymous Anonymous : where's the pictures from the friday night game? geesh    

Father's Day 2k5

Sunday, June 19, 2005  > Trackback URL
For Father's day 2K5 we went out on my Grandfather's (not the one I just lost, the other one) boat for the afternoon with my Uncle, Grandfather, Dad and Andrew. It was a good time, we pretty much sailed around the harbor, ate sandwiches, drank beers and had some quality Amirault bonding t ime.


[Do you think he'd go down with the ship? Naah, I didn't think so either.]

Leroy gets a laser pointer.

Thursday, June 16, 2005  > Trackback URL
Leroy + laser pointer = cat going insane.

[Click on the picture of Leroy to watch a video of him flipping out trying to get the red dot.]

Anonymous Anonymous : Leroy looks JUST like lulu...they should mate...I mean date. When Leroy runs around like that does he pant like a dog and breaths so heavy you get really scare that his chest is gonna explode? cause I think Lulu has asthma.    

Entertain yourself tonight.

 > Trackback URL
Damnit, I'm just not in a good mood tonight. Entertain yourself somehow.

There's your daily update.

Happy flag day, yall.

Wednesday, June 15, 2005  > Trackback URL
Happy Flag Day everybody. Do your part to celebrate this momentous and national holiday by making your own American flag drug rug and singing your favorite Kid Rock song.

"My name is Kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiid, Kid Rock! Baw it da ba da bang da bang diggie diggie, diggie said the boggie just up jump the boogie."

Run one up a flag pole and solute it high bitches.



Wow, I just had my first "I'm getting old moment."

Tuesday, June 14, 2005  > Trackback URL
I just had my first official "I'm getting old moment".
You all know me as a pretty engergetic person, I'm usually the last person to fall asleep, I'm a night owl, usually outgoing and my energy at some times seems limitless. Well, tonight I crashed out hardcore. I was watching television on the couch after work and passed the hell out only to awake at 7:35. Now, at 7:35, sunset can look just like sunrise. So I woke up, walked into my bedroom and looked at the clock. Seeing the time on the clock freaked me out because I was running late for work by 20 minutes and my alarm didn't go off because I must have fallen asleep on the couch. Then I started to piece together the chain of events and realized that I fell asleep on the couch and somehow slept for 14 hours. I never sleep for 14 hours so then I went to my cellphone and checked the time, turns out it was 7:35 PM and I was only asleep for around an hour or so.

The sad part is thatit took me around 20 minutes to figure all of this out in my groggy, sleep deprived state.

Man, it sucks getting old.

Rusty actually updated his blog... Whoah.

Monday, June 13, 2005  > Trackback URL
I guess hell has frozen over. Rusty updated his cameraphone blog and it is actually a quality update of Adam getting so hammered that he passes out next to the throne.



View Rusty's Cameraphone Blog.

3:00 AM Photo Posting.

Sunday, June 12, 2005  > Trackback URL
Back from the bar and armed with my digital camera, I hit the streets of Phily. Probably not the best decision to go out and start taking pictures around 3:00 AM, hammered, with my insanely expensive camera but hey... Anything for you guys.

Justin got us an amazing hotel room at Mariott. It was right in the center of town and was super pimp. 2 bedrooms, 2 bath, 16th floor overlooking downtown, very nice.






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And we're in Philly...

Saturday, June 11, 2005  > Trackback URL
Rusty and I made it to Philly in not so record time. I guess we missed some turns somewhere and ended up in Delaware and then had to drive another 45 mins nrth to get back to Philly. All in all, we got here. And we've had an awesome time since we've been here. Here are some of the highlights.
  • Rusty saw Amish people using an ATM.
  • We passed "Blueball Avenue".
  • Cigarettes were only $2.90! (Rusty)
  • Went to a beer warehouse because liquor stores don't sell beer in Philly. They had so much beer that they were driving forklifts to move it around the warehouse.
  • Had a nice scenic drive through the ghetto... Real dark if you know what I mean.


[Amish people at a rest stop in southern NJ, fascinated with the ATM machine. Note the line forming behind their technology defunct, suspender wearing asses.]

"I think they were trying to barter with it by inserting cheese into the card slot." - Rusty


[The beer warehouse, Rusty, Justin and I were trying to hide inbetween the shelves of beer so they could close with us inside the warehouse.]

Ever so popular, yet out of the loop.

Friday, June 10, 2005  > Trackback URL
Hey everyone....
I came to a funny realization today while going over the web statistics.. MMP is getting hundreds of hits per day from people checking my away message/IM profile and none of you are dropping me any messages or emails. This is pretty sad, anyone that has been religiously reading this site pretty much knows what has been going on in my life, yet I'm completely in the dark as to what is going on in yours. So, if you've been a loyal MMP reader or have just been stalking me over IM you should really catch up and drop me a message or email at some point. Chances are, if you have me on your buddy list we've meet/been friends/hooked up/made babies so why not drop me one. I know you guys are reading this, my statistics program doesn't lie. It really would be great to hear what you are all up to. I don't care how we know eachother, Assumption, High School, Skiing, Work, etc. Drop me one and stop blog stalking....

-Dave

Anonymous Anonymous : Digital, I would drop a note more often if you would drop one back... What is up with the silence?    

Anonymous Anonymous : What up digi? It's been a while since we've hung out. We gotta fuckin get together and get shitfaced again...remember Sunday River? GOOD TIMES! Anyway, holla back at a pimp, ya hear? Word.    

Tomorrow, the road trip begins!

Thursday, June 09, 2005  > Trackback URL
Rusty and I are taking the ultimate road trip this weekend... Providence to Pilly. Leaving Friday night at 5:00 PM and hopefully arriving sometime around 11:00 PM so we can attack the bars and show those brotherly love fucks how New England puts em' down.

  • Friday Night : Drive down to Philly, hitting the bars in Philly.
  • Saturday : More Philly sightseeing, drinking and misc philly stuff.
  • Sunday : Six Flags New Jersey during the day, perusing NYC on the way home because Rusty has never seen NYC up close.
  • Monday : Drag ass at work.

And the best thing... We're all packing into 2 Fast 2 Digital (the Focus) for this trip. Here is a little picture of the trip we're taking, thanks to google maps.


Anonymous Anonymous : thats a long f'n weekend road trip    

Blogger Dave Amirault : Damn right beeeeeotch. Damn right.    

Anonymous Anonymous : While you're down there look for a little redhead named Sarah O'Brien. Tell her I said "hi", take a picture of the face she makes, and then move before she hits you. Do it, trust me, it'll be a good time.    

Ok, so public transit sucks...

Wednesday, June 08, 2005  > Trackback URL
Ok, so we all know that public transportation sucks. But hey, it's cheap! So here are a few ways to make it a little bit more entertaining!
  1. Pretend to be someone you're not when talking to people.
    Example : You're talking to some old lady on the T, sitting across from you who went down to the local Stop N Shop for her weekly bread & catfood run, when you engage in small talk introduce yourself as something completely insane. Who cares, just be insane. Say you're the Prime Minister of Canada, the lead Keytar player for Wham, Chuck Norris' personal chef, Optimus Prime ... The list goes on and on.

  2. Pretend you're deaf.
    Example : Some twenty something a-hole that goes to BU and has a faux-hawk starts talking to you and you simply flash him some sign language and keep on doing it until he politely takes a seat somewhere else. Chances are, he won't know sign language. But if he does, tell him he's an asshole.

  3. Fart. Do it often and loudly.
    Another way to ensure you get the privacy you deserve while on public transportation is to fart up a storm in a confined space. Not only will it clear the room and give you the space you've been looking for but it will also ensure you to never will have the speak to the people around you!

  4. Drink in Public!
    This is what we call "enhancement drinking", it is when you drink to make a situation more interesting. Here is Walsh, drinking on the train on his way to the bar. Not only is this more economical because it saves you money at the bar, it also allows you to enjoy the train the way it was meant to be ridden... Ripped out of your mind.


    [Andrew Walsh demonstrates item number 4.]

Friends don't let friends buy jeans 2 sizes too small.

Tuesday, June 07, 2005  > Trackback URL
Note to this chick, your toilet is too huge for those pants.
I mean, come on, you know they don't fit... So why wear them. Here's a short checklist that you should go through when you think you may need a bigger size.
  1. Is your belly fat hanging over your belt loops?
  2. Can you not button your top button?
  3. Do you use plyers to get your fly up?
  4. Can you not place items in your pockets beacause they are too tight to fit anything in?
  5. When you bend to pick things up do you feel denim starting to tear?
  6. Are people laughing at you and taking pictures with their cameraphones?
If you answered Yes to any of the following 6 questions, please get your ass over to the store and get a larger size.


How to get out of a DUI charge.

Monday, June 06, 2005  > Trackback URL
DUI Defendants Skip Charge By Asking How Test Works

Published: Jun 5, 2005
SANFORD - Hundreds of cases involving breath-alcohol tests have been thrown out by Seminole County judges in the past five months because the test's manufacturer will not disclose how the machines work.

All four of Seminole County's criminal judges have been using a standard that if a DUI defendant asks for a key piece of information about how the machine works - its software source code, for instance - and the state cannot provide it, the breath test is rejected, the Orlando Sentinel reported Wednesday.

Prosecutors have said they do not know how many drunken drivers have been acquitted as a result. But Gino Feliciani, the misdemeanor division chief in the Seminole County State Attorney's Office, said the conviction rate has dropped to 50 percent or less.

Seminole judges have been following the lead of county Judge Donald Marblestone, who in January ruled that although the information may be a trade secret and controlled by a private contractor, defendants are entitled to it.

``Florida cannot contract away the statutory rights of its citizens,'' the judge wrote.

Judges in other counties have said the opposite: The state cannot turn over something it does not possess, and the manufacturer should not have to turn over trade secrets.


Anonymous Anonymous : DUI? Sometimes, Bad Things Happen To Good People by Carson Danfield

As long as there are human police officers, injustices always will occur. A great many police officers feel they have done their job when they arrest a person for "mere suspicion" of DUI. In some instances, the arrest may be warranted, but sometimes it isn't.

Although you may think that just because your Blood Alcohol Level is below the state limit, usually 0.08%, that you'll not be arrested for DUI. Wrong! Actually, you can be arrested for DUI no matter what level of alcohol is in your bloodstream. Even if you haven't been drinking at all, if the police officer observes anything about you that leads him to believe you may have been drinking, he can arrest you. And then, it's up to you to prove your innocence.

For example, let's say that you just finished a fine meal at your favorite restaurant and you had a small glass of wine. An overzealous police officer stops you for a minor traffic violation and smells alcohol on your breath. He immediately arrests you for DUI, slaps on a set of handcuffs and hauls you off to jail.

Once you arrive at the jail, you're photographed and fingerprinted, then you're placed in a holding cell, probably along with some pretty unsavory characters. You'll wait there for what seems like an eternity and eventually you'll go before a local magistrate who will decide what happens next. He may just assign you a court date and release you, or he may keep you locked up until you post a cash bail. If you don't post bail, you'll sit in jail until your court date.

Even when you do get out of jail, it will seem like your troubles are just starting. As a result of your arrest, your car was towed to an impound lot and when you go to retrieve it, you'll be faced with paying hundreds of dollars in towing, storage and administrative fees.

When your court date finally arrives a few weeks later, you need to be prepared to fight your case by being knowledgeable about the DUI laws of your state. If everything concerning your arrest wasn't done properly, there's a good chance you can get the case dismissed and all charges dropped, thereby keeping your record clean. Even if your case does proceed to trial, your guilt must be proven beyond reasonable doubt. Again, this is where you need to be aware of the law and what's legally required for a conviction.

Keep in mind that the police officer is not your friend. The judge is not your friend. This is a money-making enterprise for them and they would prefer to punish you as much as possible, as quickly as possible so they can move on to the next poor soul who they've managed to catch in their snare. If you don't know your rights and speak up, they'll just dish out your punishment and move on to the next victim. You will have now been rubber-stamped as a criminal and you'll have to live with the consequences.

Don't let this happen to you. If you've been falsely accused of DUI, you absolutely need to know your rights. Visit DUI-TRIX.com to find out how you can protect yourself from an unjust DUI arrest.    

He lives up to the drunken IM.

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I love wakes and funerals, that's why I drink beer. - Ryan Smith.

He certainly lives up to the drunken IM.



Leroy playing fetch.

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Leroy thinks that he is a dog. Seriously, the cat plays fetch. You throw a ball, he jumps to grab it with his mouth and then he brings it back to you. It was like he was raised by a wild pack of dogs.


New Chappelle Show Starts May 31!

Sunday, June 05, 2005  > Trackback URL
New Season Starts May 31!
NOT

Smitty, always entertaining...

Saturday, June 04, 2005  > Trackback URL
It is always great when Smitty has a few drinks and decides to get on the keys.


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No excuse now...

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You're never going to have an excuse not to get a mac after they announce that all Apple computers will be using Intel processors at the developers conference next week.

Check it out in my Digg News.
Anthony chimes in on the situation.


Be smart like me. Read what I read.

Thursday, June 02, 2005  > Trackback URL
I know what many of you are thinking...
"Damn, how does Dave keep so up to date with current (geek) events." Well, here's your answer kids. I read a ton of news. Typically, when I get home I'll tear through a couple dozen websites and absorb knowledge quicker than Bounty picks up spills. Now you can read what I read. If I see an article on the internet that I think relates to MMP I can place it in this nifty little section called "My Digg News". Keep an eye on this section, you'll be seeing a set of news rotate through it throught the day. So now when you come back to MMP for your non stop blogertainment you can get your learn on and, slowly but surely, become as much of a geek as I am.

Check out some of the stories. They'll be good.


Jeff Slinn's hot new kicks.

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Check out Jeff Slinn's hot new kicks. IF you're wondering why they look like bowling shoes it is because they are, in fact, bowling shoes. Jeff decided to trade in his old shoes for these hot new kicks one night at the lanes. I sure hope that he sprays them down each night and puts them in a little cubby hole so they feel right at home.

The first thing I've lost and couldn't replace.

Wednesday, June 01, 2005  > Trackback URL
I love you Grandpa. The family won't be the same without you.

I've never lost a family member so this is all very new to me. I honestly don't know how to feel. One side of me is extremely sad and depressed because I've lost my Grandfather, another side worries how my younger cousins are dealing with the situation because they've been forced to deal with it at a much younger age. I'm the oldest out of 14 grandchildren and our ages range from 23 to 3.... Typically, 23 year olds deal with death much better than teenagers and the children so I'm a little worried about my cousins... I guess that's just the "older cousin" in me feeling protective over the younger ones.

My Grandfathers death was in no way sudden or abrubt. He fought cancer tooth and nail for the past year and a half. About 2 weeks ago he decided to end his treatment due to the fact that his quality of life was rapidly decreasing and that he would only be prolonging his agony. It was a rough couple of weeks on our family, we all rallied together dispite geographic locations and time constraints to make sure that his last days were spent as comfortably as possible with his loved ones. The past week was the hardest, he didn't recognize us and was out of it due to the painkillers he was on. He died very peacefully this afternoon around 2PM with my Grandmother and Mother there by his bedside.

I give the guy credit... Grandpa was a fighter. He refused to give up, even towards the end he was looking to beat down the cancer that would ultimately consume him. It wasn't because he was a selfish person who wanted to cheat death and get one more day... He didn't want to miss out the "firsts"... A first communion, birthday, graduation, date, drivers test or holiday with any of his grandchildren. It was touching to see how he was with my younger cousins because I could remember being their age and going through the same thing. He's been watching us grow up for 23 years and there many more first occasions I wish he could have seen.

Looks like the wake will be this Friday and the funeral on Sunday. He's going to be bueried next to his parents overlooking a park. He picked the spot because he said it was nice because his children & grandchildren played in that park.


-David

My Grandfather ran a fish store called Moulton's Seafood. I googled it and here's what it came up with. Thought it was a dead on quote so why not throw it in.
Run by the same family since its opening in 1945, Moulton's sells fresh take-out seafood by the pound, uncooked or -- for $1.50 extra per pound -- cooked to your liking. Inexpensive lunch and dinner specials change from week to week, and two types of thick, creamy homemade chowder -- fish and clam -- are available at $1.95 for 12 ounces and $2.95 for 16 ounces. Take-out only; free local delivery on orders above $10. Moulton's is located at 178A Winthrop Street, in Medford; call 396-6466 for hours.

Anonymous Anonymous : I'm sorry man. I was down 2 grandparents before I was even born, and lost the other 2 by the time I was 15.

It sucks, the funeral will suck harder. I can't say when it'll get easier. Try to concentrate on the fact that he's not in pain anymore.