Ha ha Rocket, someone stole your whip.

From the "It is awesome to see bad things happen to assholes" file comes this story...

Clemens' Hummer stolen in Houston
Pitcher's son left car unlocked after driving to school
The Associated Press
Updated: 4:57 p.m. ET March 23, 2005

HOUSTON - Roger Clemens’ orange Hummer — a present from the New York Yankees for his 300th win — was stolen Wednesday after the pitcher’s son drove it to school and left it unlocked, police said.


School district police issued a statewide all-points bulletin about the Hummer, taken from Memorial High at about 8:30 a.m. The vehicle contained all of Koby Clemens’ baseball equipment for the school team.

“I talked with Roger about it a little,” said Chuck Brawner, chief of the Spring Branch Independent School District police. “That Hummer was given to him by the New York Yankees for his 300th win.”

Brawner said Clemens, who was at spring training with the Houston Astros in Florida, was offering a $10,000 reward for the vehicle’s return and information about who took it.

Roger Clemens couldn’t immediately be reached for comment by The Associated Press. He earned his 300th victory in 2003 with the Yankees, then joined the hometown Astros.

He began letting Koby Clemens drive the orange Hummer to school after he signed a letter of intent last November to play baseball for the University of Texas, whose colors are burnt orange and white. Before that, Koby drove a black Hummer to school.

Hummers can range from $50,000 to more than $100,000.

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8:43 PM

What a gigantic tool. Huge, huge tool. Biggest tool ever.    



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